"POW! Right in the kissah!"
It’s that time of year again: time to find your happily attached friends wearing identical ironic sweaters and stab them as they nap in their love nests! Time to go to Walgreens and open the heart shaped boxes of candy and bite off half of each piece and put them back and then close the box back up and put it back on the shelf and walk out of the store like nothing happened! Time to watch Jennifer Aniston movies in your underwear while marinating in a tub of Ben & Jerry’s! Time to buy ill fitting edible lingerie for your girlfriend! Time to duck when she throws a philips head screwdriver at your eye! Time to wait in line for a table at hot new restaurant The Salmonella! It’s on Bedford Avenue and they have vegan artisanal crab sticks! Or NOT…fuck all that noise!
In our world, there are only two holidays that really matter (Halloween and Satan’s Birthday) and Valentines Day (VD Day? HA HA HA HA?) is NOT one of them. And with all due respect to Romantics, even if you ARE in love, OUR people don’t go for cheap sentiment and maudlin Lifetime channel bullshit. Thankfully for YOU, there’s so many things happening this weekend that are of the “fuck-yo-couch” variety that you might even forget this chocolaty capitalist sham-of-the-heart is even happening at all. Come This way!
Friday February 11
HULLABALOO! Wait, didn’t that happen last weekend? Yeah, and? Our boys Charles Gaskins and Shimmy aren’t done with you and have curated your Friday night move for rock and roll madness. The show is headlined by The Jam Messengers, which feature Rob K from The Workdogs and Uncle Butcher. Check out their live appearance on WFMU’s Three Chord Monty radio show to hear the badness they plan to drop on you. They are not likely to play here in Brooklyn again for a very long time so don’t be that “catch ‘em next time around” guy. As if that’s not enough, we’ve got Triple Hex, the witchy kings of the boogie Sorceress and new group The Luxurious Faux Furs which features members of the sadly defunct but forever excellent Headless Hookers so you know it’ll be good. The backroom of Public Assembly is where this takes place. 9pm-4am (Gaskins and Shimmy spin whackadoo boogaloo all night between bands and after!), $7 smackers!
Not too much farther up the way in the Burg of William, find Phast Phreddie the Boogaloo Omnibus and Lenny Kaye (of The Patti Smith Group, and of course compiler of the holy grail original Nuggets compilations) at Teddy’s Bar and Grill for DOO WOP HOP! “Who put the bomp in the bomp sh-bomp sh-bomp? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lamma-ding-dang?” you ask? They answer. Doo Wop and classic R&BÂ 7 inch platters spun correctly, with the foxy Brooklyn Baby Doll gyrating and a-go-going into the night! Kicks of at 9pm, no cover!
Over at Don Pedro, around 9:30 or so, our fuzz punk favorites The Horehound will shake that shellacked ceiling for your pleasure and there’s. Word is Jake Noodles will be joining them for a song or two. I’m not finding much info as far as who else is on the bill (or if it’s any good) but you can at least count on these nutcases…
The 45 Adapters are joined by The Dirty Spiders and a debuting Schweinhund tonight at Bar Matchless for a night of maximum punk flavored toppings kicking off at 8pm!
DJ Ursula 1000 spins glam rock, punk rock, post-punk and power pop for the chicken grease stained faces at The Commodore tonight for a party called Blockbuster! from 10pm till they turn the lights on all bright like and yell at you to get the hell home. No cover!
Friday means fuck your job and SHAKIN’ ALL OVER UNDER SIDEWAYS DOWN at Home Sweet Home down on the battle lines where the LES and Chinatown meet! Not sure who the guest on the decks is this time, but you always know Jonathan Toubin‘s soul, rock, and punk 45′s make the party. Tonight’s password is “kittycat DJ” to skip to the front of the line ahead of annoying people. $3 admission, free before midnight!
Not too much farther away at the last great dive of the LES Motor City, the Born Loose loonies Larry and Suke spin whatever the fuck they want to of the rock and roll variety! I’m pretty sure Miss Anna Copa Cabana will be shaking it on the bar as well…10pm till! And speaking of dives in Manhattan, uptown denizens are encouraged to go check out the lovely Linda Rizzo at The Ding Dong Lounge where she spins garage rock, punk, funk and soul all through the witching hours. Both of these are free to hang.
Put on your two tone creepers and Skank on up to Otto’s Shrunken Head for a special edition of the monthly rockEm sockEM party: It’s a SKALENTINES PARTY, child! Dj’s Ultra V and Omega are joined by Copycat’s DJ Xerox for a ska lovers affair, with live performances by sympatico bands The Pandemics, The Rudie Crew and Zion Judah & Deep Theta 7. 10pm, never a cover!
Famed soul spot of Alphabet City Nublu hosts a happening monthly on the second Friday of every month called LET ‘S BOOGALOO! Sponsored by Fania Records, DJ’s Turmix and Ol’ Stark spin a wonderful array of Boogaloo, soul, funk, jazz, and bossa-nova sounds from the 60′s and 70′s and even the good from today, while live soul/horns band The Ex-Caminos flavor the night with funkness. $10 cover with an 11pm start.
Saturday February 12
Howzabout starting out your Saturday with some day light hour trouble, like we used to when it was warm? Metropolis Vintage hosts Love Fest! Bands! DJ’s! Booze! Shopping! SAVINGS! Decidedly unromantic rock and roll bands The Jigglers and Nervous Assistant perform live in store, Dj’s Drew Redbone and Charly Heartbreak spin (CHARRRRRRRRRRLY!) sick garage and punk records, drinks will be drank, and YOU will save 30% off every item in store if you print THIS FLYER off of their Facebook event page…
And then, INTO THE NIGHT…
The DIY spirited punk angels Shellshag are part of a big show at The Music Hall of Williamsburg for a Don Giovanni Records showcase, featuring fellow loud freaks The Screaming Females, Laura Stevenson & The Cans , Lemuria and Byrds of Paradise. 7pm doors, 10 dollar bills.
Jonathan Toubin presents the second edition of his new party Boogie Night, where whisky glasses are raised and rumps shaken to deep Devil Dealing blues of the likes of John Lee Hooker, Slim Harpo, KoKo Taylor and more legends and originators! Thrill to live performance by their descendants Daddy Long Legs, who will surely take you down to the river over two sets at Zebulon! Only $5 dollars for the boogie and woogie!
Lastly, and certainly not leastly, there’s a wild one awaiting at The Church, the underground live/work/worship space in the ‘wick that has seen many a massacre…It’s going to be a night of high contrast and out of control rave-ups at The Black and White Valentine Ball, where everyone dresses in monochrome, where DJ Amanda Otto from Reaction (the Baltimore based mod dance party) spins greatness garage, soul, psych and rock and roll and where Quitty and the Don’ts, The Above and The Electric Mess make love to your mind via live fuzz frugging! This ain’t no homecoming dance. It’s a FREAKOUT. 9pm at you know where!
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Enjoy your weekend, my marshmallow peeps. Fight valiantly the powers of stupidity and never forget that love is all up inside you….
XOXO -Heartlock
"Love is More than Words..."
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