Did you hear? It’s a new year, AND a new decade! YEAH! It’s time for new optimism, a new way to see the world, new socks and a side of FEAR topped with savory mushroom gravy! We’ve got one year left to live before the Mayan Wipeout, so you might as well steal all the DVD’s from Best Buy that you can carry while having unprotected relations with your relations (duh, the hot ones! Don’t be nasty!). Watch out for dying birds, shiftless fishes and break every bullshit New Years resolution you came up with by…living your sinful little lives!
Winter Wanderlust
Ten Days till Christmas, Ten Degrees Outside! Quaint! If you’re smart you’ll make like a St. Bernard and carry a little barrel full of brandy or bourbon on your person to fortify you against the chill winds of the night! Inconspicuously, of course…
Just Chillin’. No, Seriously, I’m Going to Lose a Thumb to Frostbite.
Chestnuts roasting in an oil drum fire, Jack Frost mugging you for your iPhone…though it is said, many times, many ways, it’s friggin’ cold outside, baby!!!!! Feel that Krispy Kringle chill in the air as we stomp through the various winter holidays of your particular denomination. In celebration of my favorite (the PAGAN), let’s us count the ways we can wantonly occupy ourselves in pursuit of high fun and rock and roll pleasure on these short days and long dark nights over the next couple…
Jive As…a Turkey. Stuffed as a Boar.
Thanksgiving in NYC is so COOOOOOL because the city turns abandoned and quiet like Zombieland and you can do what you WANT! Gather up all your ex-pat friends, your Thanksgiving orphans and your too-broke-for-Amtrak brethren, throw open the doors of your hearth and have yourself a FEAST for FREAKS! Roasted turkey with Four-Loko glaze and instant magic mushroom potatoes, anyone?
