What’s the good word, sisters and misters? We’ve made it to the weekend and not a moment too soon: it’s finally starting to feel like the season we’re supposed to be in, and accordingly it’s another weekend stacked with choice happenings bursting forth like pollen into your scene! Sakura! CHECK IT:

Friday April 26th

Grand Victory is the site of a one two punch of loud raucous fun tonight:

• Starting at 8pm is an all out power brawl featuing M.O.T.O. , The Recordettes (celebrating the release of their first 7 inch on Front Teeth Records), The Bamboo Kids  (celebrating a double LP on Drug Front Records) and the daddy of power pop himself, The Paul Colins Beat! Tony Lofi, Ana Anabolic and Bradley Dean (playing drums with M.O.T.O.) are you DJs…Doors are at 7pm and it’ s$10 to get in
• If you stick around you’re in for TRASH from Finger Lickin’ Friday! Charles Gaskins is out of town this weekend so Drew has to play nice with someone else, that someone being Phil No, owner of Otha’s Cafe and a regular DJ on East Village Radio…Prizes, stupid drinks, Brooklyn Baby Doll’s gyrations and assorted hijinks await…no cover after 11!

Out at casa de loco Don Pedro, Dead Flowers and Knighthawk Productions present a loud affair in the form of live rock and roll from Sorceress, 45 Adapters and The Brought Low … Mr. Lee is on deck spinning boss sounds between bands and into the night…$8 cover, 9pm doors…

Back to Manhattan:

You can find little old me at my monthly rumble Real Gone! at Otto’s Shrunken Head, where I’ll be spinning heavy psych, sunshine pop, garage punk, soul and other weirdness from the best decade ever with my compatriots KittyBeat, Xerox and very special guest, the girl who founded the night herself, Miss January 1963…with live wild rockness in the accursed Tiki Room by Shiksa (1opm) , Wizard Sex (11pm) and shoegaze soul brothers The Veldt at midnight! Everything is happening at 10pm and it’s ZERO dollars for all that fun…you’re on your own as far as the giggling juice goes…

Unbelievably, the Friday Night Staple, the oasis of cool in the questionable sea that is lower Manhattan on a Friday night, Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down, is celebrating it’s 5th anniversary tonight! Go toast it up to the man Jonathan Toubin and dance to his wild selections of rock and soul from 11pm till they turn up the bright lights…it’s his last one for a month before he flies off for a whirlwind tour across the pond, an amazing secret guest DJ is promised as well…$5 before 11pm and after 3am…

La La Linda is back on her perch at the upper west sides prime dive-haunt The Ding Dong Lounge, making boring people cry and dance to wild psych, funk and soul music from 1opm till the end, with VJ Linear Progression providing the video to your soundtrack…no cover!

Saturday April 27th

Huge Cavestomp show tonight at Grand Victory featuring some of the true heavyweights of the modern scene: starting off at 9pm with the girl-pop duo Satin Kittens, followed by The Jay Vons, The Lyres, The Woggles and Thee Mighty Fevers from Japan doing a late night set… Hip! Once again Tony LoFi and Anna Anabolic DJ between and after bands…$12 cover…

It’s time for your monthly taste sensation, for your ears, Le Crunch! Josh Styles and Sophie Thunder spin the finest glitter rock and 50′s bop from 9pm till the end of the night, joined by guest Dave Ready of Sorceress! With live performances by New York City’s own Mr. Showbiz himself Breedlove and the twang and roll of Alana Amram! Only a $5 buck cover for all that sparkles…

All the ghouls and gals assemble at Otto’s Shrunken Head for Thee Midnight Monster Hop! Mike Decay and Mike Mortician spin the prime trash:  rockabilly, r&b, frat rock and brat garage records for filthy minds and souls all night from 9pm… no bands tonight so the Tiki Room belongs to the prancers! No cover…

It’s the April edition of Another Scorcher! Miss Gemini and Ursa Major always kill it with their unimpeachable selection of classic Jamaican soul and reggae wax…and it gets even more killer tonight when they are joined by none other than Phast Phreddie, The Boogaloo Omnibus! Only at Downtown Brooklyn’s Last Exit, from 10pm till the end…No cover!

***

That’s a warp…I mean wrap! Enjoy the lovely weather and cut a rug…                                                                                                         -Captain Heartlock

Ai-yai-yai-yai… our next party is a THREE-O de MAYO scorcher (mucho caliente!) at Brooklyn’s Don Pedro!

Brooklyn’s own Neighbors pretty much blew us away at our last show with their power punk meets Natural Child boogie, so we invited them to return for an encore of awesome. Check ‘em:

And what better way to celebrate Mexican independence TWO days early but with a, errr, Texas band? YASS! So we’re bringing A Giant Dog, an Austin band of some repute with a couple of dudes from Bad Sports and OBN III’s, two of the baddest bands around.  ”Repute” you say? Surely you jest!  WE doth not! Here’s the LA Times, comparing a Justin Timberlake performance to this band (this is for real): “When Timberlake finally declared the energy level to be at 100, I balked. A few hours earlier at a bar called Beerland a brilliant punk band called A Giant Dog had slaughtered a crowd of 50 and burst the thermometer…”

Also they rock like this:

And, opening up our show is the inimitable Brooklyn two piece A. Rex & J. Rex, who pound out garage pop using a bionic drummer (they have the technology!) …

If that weren’t enough, the Three Amigos of 45s, Shimmy, Charles Gaskins and DJ Carlos Bermudez, will spin the most danceable mariachi’n'roll of the last half century until we’ve all found the worm at the bottom of our respective bottles.

So join the invite, come on down and let’s rid ourselves of the French… or sobriety!

SHIMMY

February, get behind thee!

The last weekend of the so called “most depressing month on the calendar” is fully stocked with the cure for everything blue: rock and roll, soul happenings, dancing, booze filled situations! Every opportunity to perk up and make out!

Let’s make haste and waste not a minute!

Friday February 22nd

I want to see this as a headline on Brooklyn Vegan tomorrow: “Skins and Oi Kids Terrorize North Williamsburg Pansies and Yupsters” – Big show at The Music Hall of Williamsburg headlined by The Cockney Rejects, with support from Youth Brigade, Murphy’s Law and The Templars! Despite rumors to the contrary it’s NOT sold out – yet – so avoid the chance of missing out by buying yer tickets online…$25 advance, $30 (?) day off, doors at 7pm…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yJRVgIjYvI

The great Greek psych-punk band Acid Baby Jesus (Slovenly Records) is BACK on our shores, and they’ve got two absolutely killer shows they are headlining in town tonight and tomorrow (Saturday) presented by our fellow scene bloggers One Chord Progression: Friday night, find them at the mighty Bell House with The Mess Around, Twin Guns, The Psyched, The Recordettes and their fellow Slovenly label mates, Toronto Canada’s Hellshovel! This is a heavy one…Doors at 7:30, only 10 dollars for a killer bill!

Check out this shamanic collab between the two visiting bands:

Real Gone! is back tonight at Otto’s Shrunken Head! Yours truly is host and DJ, along with Xerox and this month’s special guests, “Springtime” David Scott (Cloudblues, Discovery, and former guitarist for the late hip hop legend Guru of Gangstarr) and Kevin Wyzzard spinning psychedelia, soul, garage punk and exotica all night long from 10pm till close, with live performances by Dmitry Wild‘s new band Wizard Sex, The Lovely (featuring Jill Fiore and Patty Garcia from The Rats) and psych and mod pop sounds from new group The Riff Notes, all in that order from 10pm. All this magick for no cover!

DJ La La Linda and her partner VJ Linear Progression provide sound and sight antics at The Ding Dong Lounge for their weekly jumbo of garage, punk, soul and funk and with trashy light projections, a perfect combo to mambo! 1opm till close…

Jonathan Toubin is joined by WFMU’s and Telstar Records honcho Todd-O-Phonic Todd at this week’s edition of Shakin’ All Over at Chinatown taxidermy dive Home Sweet Home, teaching the unwashed the lessons and sounds they need to get down. This weeks “skip the line” password to get in is “WHAT A WAY TO DIE” …$5 after 11pm and until 3 am!

Labcoated trash rockers the Mad Doctors are at Bar None in the East Village tonight, opening for a rockabilly-ish group called Coach’n'Commando. $?

Rounding out the night, it’s the ONE year anniversary of the nastiest rock and roll party in town, hands down, Finger Lickin’ Fridays by Drew Redmond and Charles Gaskins! They’ve got prizes – DIRTY dirty prizes and cool ones – they’ve got filthy piñatas to be bashed, filled with trash, and they’ve got mystery hooch to drink and hoochie coo from Brooklyn Baby Doll. All this BESIDES the greasy 50′s and early 60′s R&B, surf and garage they sling! Congratulations and Well Done, boys…with guest DJ Reyes “King” Rodriguez… 11pm till close, no cover. Should be a MESS!

Saturday February 23rd

As mentioned earlier in this post, it’s the SECOND night of the Acid Baby Jesus romp through our (un)fair city! Tonight they are at The Cakeshop as part of yet ANOTHER top to bottom undeniable lineup with Eric Davidson’s current band of creeps The Livids, The K-Holes and tourmates Hellshovel…doors are at 8, $10 cover, and I DO believe that Mr. Tony LoFi is spinning in between and after bands…another One Chord Progression shindig!

Back in Brooklyn at the GRITTY rock and roll bowling alley The Gutter: should be a wild one for rolling with fried countrified rockers Juniper Rising, Richmond VA punk weirdo’s The Nervous Ticks, Brooklyn wailers Organs (look out for a truly fierce LP coming reaaaaaaaaaaal soon) and Family Curse! Not sure of the cover…let’s say no less than $8. And let’s say the show starts at 8pm too!

This month’s edition of the premium grade psycho-trash party Thee Midnight Monster Hop is special for two reasons: 1) it’s Mike Mortician’s birthday, ya’ll! 2) It’s the LAST time for a LONG time that you will see The Arkhams perform before they sink into a Permian slumber for Cthulu knows how long! See them perform TWO sets in the dang cursed tiki room, while Mike spins psychobilly, garage and immoral R&B up front! 10pm till close, no cover!

Out in Long Island City, Queens, rocking out for a damn good cause: LIC Bar – a great local venue that hosts some fantastic outdoor jams in the summertime that had their business near wrecked  by that bitch Sandy, has managed to bounce back, thanks to help from none other than The Who, who replaced their flood destroyed backline with their own primo gear! In solidarity, the bar is hosting a Who Tribute night with  dead on tribute band Who’s Next, a special “surprise guest” and a raffle to win a Gibson SG signed by Pete Townshend himself where proceeds go to support The Who’s favorite charity, TEEN CANCER AMERICA. Tickets are $20 and can purchased ahead of time at this link on the bar’s website…

DJ InBetween trips the light fantastic on the border of Greenpoint and Williamsburg tonight at Pete’s Candy Store! The man has impeccable taste and untouchable vinyl selections, so slide on down for his psych, funk and soul 45′s from 11pm till late…no cover…

Rounding out Saturday, it’s Soul-A-Go-Go at Grand Victory! Host, DJ and dancing machine Jumpy is joined by the one and only Connie The Empress tonight, spinning no filler floor fillers of bump rockin’ soul from 11pm till close…no cover!

STACKED!

If we’re missing anything good, let us know and we’ll add it in…check back Sunday afternoon for Drew’s map to trouble in the early parts of next week, ya geek!

TTFN-Captain Heartlock

Greetings, kittens! Let us rejoice, for January goes out way more shakin’ that it started, with a absolutely stacked weekend of parties and happenings for all the intrepid dandies, punks, painted ladies, soul scenesters and lovers of fun! Aka, the TRUE ones who will not let these dips into the arctic airstream deter them from living the full and dangerous lives that this merciless city demands!

On, Dasher!

Friday January 25th

Grand Victory in Williamsburg is your one stop tonight for madness in the BK:

Starting off with a fireball show featuring organ and megaphone toting garage punk collective Lex Loser, Nashville’s Big Bad Oven, electric trashy blues duo The Luxurious Faux Furs  and New Jersey super fuzzed up punks Citizen Black Kane! This show starts early with doors at 8pm…not sure of the cover, let’s say $8 dollars for shits and giggles

Promptly at 11 and until 4am, this show makes way for the only DJ dance party that is also a twisted, perverted game show, Finger Lickin’ Fridays! DJ’s Charles Gaskins and Drew Redmond play greasy ass R&B, surf and trash rock ‘45 records, pass around bottles of “mystery hooch”, inflate x-rated dolls and let the patrons of Grand Victory walk away with all kinds of stupid prizes found inside penis shaped piñatas. No cover for this nonsense!

Speaking of Finger Lickin’… listen to the exclusive podcast here:

Finger Lickin' Podcast – Episode One [ 1:13:40 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Hear the sounds you’re missing if you miss this!

Meanwhile inManhattan in the hallowed halls of Otto’s Shrunken Head, it’s the monthly rager Real Gone! There you will find yours truly and my co-horts Xerox, KittyBeat and special guest DJ Matt Marando from The Above and Quitty and the Don’ts spinning non stop 60′s garage punk, psychedelia, weirdo library sounds, sweet soul and outsider rock and roll from 10pm till close, for no cover, my lover! We’ve also got live rock and roll in the tiki room of delights from Glass Mansions, the returning garage fury of The Horehound and The Cloudblues Band, featuring seriously spaced psych jams and (YES) electric sitar! Groove on that!

As always on a Friday night you’ve got Jonathan Toubin keeping the LES pure and pounding at Home Sweet Home at Shakin’ All Over, slinging soul and rock and roll ’45s with special emphasis on the music of Huey Piano Smith, The Bobby Blue Band and Etta James…$5 cover, secret surprise DJ guest is promised, and this weeks “skip the line” password is “SUPERNATURAL STRATEGIES”….

Further north in the wilds of the Upper West Side, at legendary dive The Ding Dong Lounge, you’ll find La La Linda and her VJ cohort Linear Progression bringing sound and vision all night! Psych, punk, soul and funk till the rooster crows, 10pm till close, no cover…

Back to Brooklyn, to the place in the WB where bad boys and girls like to play, The Commodore, for this month’s Discophonic Walk! Phast Phreddie and Girlsoul bring all 45 sin soundtracks of soul, R&B, garage, and other assorted wildness…11pm till close, no cover!

Here’s one we missed: Modern Needs is on Friday this month at Last Exit Bar on Atlantic Avenue. Selectors are Mr Lee and Mr Dean Rispler of Drug Front Records. Garage, Punk and all that’s bad for you. FREE

Saturday January 26th

Two monthly parties that have recently had to find new homes after the unfortunate closing of Williamsburg cultural institution Zebulon return tonight, rising from the ashes of gentrification and soaring into your mind:

• The Glitter and Glam bacchanal Le Crunch kicks off tonight at it’s new gilded nest, decadent party palace The Flat! Hosts and DJ’s Josh Styles and Sophie Thunder are joined by special guest Avi Spivak (Human Being Lawnmower) and Sei Sato (Rebel Night)  for an all night dance party of glam rock, 50′s R&B and 60′s garage rock on the South Side, with live musical performances by The Andy Animal Family Band and  Mystery Lights…9pm till close, $5 cover…

• The great international sex-a-delic sound party Let’s Boogaloo returns to it’s new home Banter (132 Havemeyer Street, Williamsburg BK)! Host Ol’ Stark is joined by Jumpy (of Soul-a-Go-Go and dance floor insanity) and Lupe Loop (aka Discovery  lead siren Kathleen Cholewka)…these three will lay down all kinds of Euro and Latin American grooves, funk and soul, strictly for dancing (which is PERFECTLY OKAY, I swear to you!) 10pm till the end, NO COVER!

Over in Cobble Hill BK it’s time for monthly classic Jamaican Soul and Dub party Another Scorcher! Ursa Major, Miss Gemini and their guest Chrissy Pants drop incomparably cool 60′s and early 70′s vinyl originals from the Island at Last Exit! 10pm till close, no cover…

Here’s one more for Brooklyn: a truly Punky Reggae party at the Swamp (off the Montrose L) with World War IX and some ska groups including some ex-Slacker types. There’s also DJs including the Crazy Baldhead Crew and last but not least “no racist, right wing, backward shit allowed”. RIGHT ON! $?

Back to Manhattan – and back to the Ding Dong Lounge, where La La Linda is pulling a marathon and doing yet a SECOND night of spinning music for dilettantes and delinquents from 10pm till close! VJ Linear Progression should also be on hand to make the lights that reflect  your mind…no cover!

And finally rounding out this weekend of great monthly parties you can trust to move you, it’s Thee Midnite Monster Hop at Otto’s Shurnken Head! DJ Trash Only (aka Mike Mortician) is joined this month by Greg Pacheco (of his own monthly at Last Exit Bar Vinyl Dementia and photographer at larger for Sailor’s Grave Photography) for a terror-ific throwdown of psychobilly, garage, grimy grind and sleaze, all night from 1opm till close, with special live performance by psychobilly ghouls The Spastiks…No cover!

That’s it! Rub Noses and Keep Warm, you Filthy Lion Seals of the North!

- Captain Heartlock

You’re TOO much! No, really, you are. You, the bands and DJs of NYC, that is.  I’ve tried to sum up all the awesomeness going on in the next 36 hours and it’s a bit nuts. Good luck sorting it out!

TONIGHT (FRIDAY):

Let’s start this thing off right with a truly bizarre-o show.  Cozy Royale is a catering establishment and restaurant in Italian Williamsburg.  Yeah, a RESTAURANT. Well, tonight it’s hosting the Cars-ish sounds of 1-800-BAND and the over-the-top guitar band Blues Control.  This might be worth it just for the potential weirdness of this place.  It’s on Humboldt not far off the Graham ave L. Doors listed at 8, and there’s another band. I’d guess live action at 9PM $?

Over at Cameo Gallery, located more or less across the street from Academy Records on n 6th street in Williamsburg, North Carolina’s Spider Bags are headlining a show with two others I’m not familiar with. The ‘Bags are pretty good though! $?

At 9PM SHARP, it’s the return of the Jam Messengers, made up of one part Rob K and one part Marco Butcher.  This is a seriously hip and wild two piece rock’n'roll show from the former “Lion of Ludlow”, Mr K. Happening at the Rodeo Bar, the ‘Messengers (who reside in Hawai’i and Brasil respectively) are rarely in town. Check them out! $?

Also at 9PM, it’s a great show at the Mercury Lounge (how often have we said those words in the past few months?!) — Nude Beach, the bruce-ish power pop group, headline a bill also featuring Fletcher C Johnson and Livids. $10

SO not done. On to the DJs tonight…

At 9, it’s time for Love So Nice! a reggae-filled dance party at the Swamp (formerly Lake Johnson, formerly Asterisk) off the Morgan L. Not too far from Roberta’s in fact. DJ Grace of Spades and many more. $?

At 10, our own smelly kewpie doll, Drew Redmond, gets going at Motor City for a night he’s calling ‘Garage Punk Junky’. Marvel over his recent WFMU fair purchases or pull his hair. It’s all the same, really. FREE

At 11, REBEL NIGHT is on at Otto’s Shrunken Head. You can never go wrong with this best-of-its-kind swingin’ rockabilly dance party. FREE

Also at 11PM, Jonathan Toubin returns to the wheels of steel at Home Sweet Home on Chrystie. Not sure on this week’s special guest. $3?

SATURDAY:

(breathe, breathe… gonna get through this)

Two killer shows kicking off at the same hour. What are you DOING to us… sheez.

At 8PM, the doors swing wide open at Grand Victory in Williamsburg for this venue’s one year anniversary party.  Congratulations to Sean and crew for finally making something good stick in this possibly cursed location (see: Lucky Cat, Bruar Falls, etc). They’re celebrating this unlikely feat with performances by Born Loose and Foster Care plus DJs Charles Gaskins and Twig the Wonderkid. SOLID SHIT! $9 entry and there’s free PBR (and probably some godawful jungle juice) offered at some point…

Also at 8, and not that far away, it’s the first of two Norton Records benefits this night.  At Brooklyn Bowl, you’ll find a bill topped by the A-Bones and also featuring the Swingin’ Neckbreakers and the Piggies.  It’s directly followed by Jonathan Toubin’s Soul Clap! party and the whole shebang is only $7, part of which goes towards the excellent cause of keeping Norton going.

The other Norton benefit tonight takes place in Manhattan at the Cake Shop, where a bill headlined by the Obits is $20; also included are Slovenly Records trio The Psyched, who nailed it at Don Pedro in December.

Finally, also in Manhattan, it’s night TWO of the Jam Messengers at Rodeo Bar. 9PM sharp!

Golly gee whillickers, Mr Tippington: what are we going to do?!

I sure dunno Jimmy, but the answer is in that bottle over there…

SHIMMY

The month of September goes out with a harpy scream – much ado about town and you’d have to some kind of machine from Planet X to not find something to fill your heart with mirth this weekend. Shall we?

Friday September 28th

Let’s start the drinking and dancing early, happy hour stylee – Steve Myers, lead soul of Mighty Fine, is DJing a NOLA style happy hour at East Village hang HiFi from 6pm till 1opm, playing New Orleans R&B and funk , Motown, Stax, and other varieties of delicious soul music… may as well stick around and make a night of it, because following Steve will be Eric Davidson (New Bomb Turks, The Livids) spinning punk and garage from 1o till close! Boogie on through…

Tonight at the Brooklyn Knitting Factory, catch Brothers, the bad mofo biker rock and Americana gang, as they headline a bill featuring Brooklyn psych darlings The Living Kills, the tough garage sirens Party Lights and power pop kiddos The Divergence…the good times start at 8pm, $10 at the door or $8 if you get advance tix online.

Over at the luscious den of iniquity in Chinatown known as Fontana’s, catch the proverbial one two punch, if you will, of maximum gritty garage punk and glitter boogie – The Nuclears and Sorceress, together in a six string sandwich  – hitting at 9pm and 8pm respectively, for a mere $5 cover…punk rock karaoke follows, please feel free to embarrass yourself for the amusement of others…

It’s the time of the month and the season to get real gone at Real Gone, tonight at Otto’s Shrunken Head: tonight’s live set is uncharacteristically punked out, headlined by Boston’s legendary fuzz garage demons Jetset at the stroke of midnight, with The Cheap Vibes (11pm) and The Liz B, Borden Band…Host DJ’s KittyBeat, Dr. Jones and Xerox keep it on all night in the front room with non stop garage punk, psych and soul…all from10pm till close, no cover!

Over at the smutty boat house of fried chicken and big ass pina coladas The Commodore is the spot for The Discophonic Walk – Phast Phreddie, GirlSoul and this month’s guest Jumpy spin raucous 45′s of R&B, funk, garage and soul from 11pm till they are legally requied to kick the kids to the kurb…no cover…

La La Linda says quit your whining and wipe your tears with garage, funk, punk and soul music all night, from 1opm till close at upper west side dive The Ding Dong Lounge…no cover, cheap beer, crazy lights on the walls and in your head…

Off the heels of his sold out Soul Clap, Jonathan Toubin is back to bring you more living kicks at his weekly throw down Shakin’ All Over at the den Home Sweet Home, joined on the record spinning decks by DJ Beyondadoubt. Get down to R&B and garage monster tunes from 11pm till close, $3 cover…

And! The sickest – and I mean sick like sick in the head – dance party tonight is hands down at Grand Victory for Finger Lickin’ Fridays: Drew Redmond and Charles Gaskins present a multi-media extravaganza of sight, sound and tastelessness – they spin greasy garage, 50′s R&B, surf and punk rock and GIVE AWAY some of these very records! There’s a piñata stuffed with prizes! There’s inflatable sex dolls! There’s mystery hooch! There’s Brooklyn Babydoll go-go dancing in not much clothing! There’s her dad! There’s a rape gong! This is the best Stefon sketch that is not a Stefon sketch and always a guaranteed fun riot. 11pm till close, no cover….

Here’s this month’s podcast!

Saturday September 29th

The legendary U.K. OG Punk band The Vibrators are alive, wired and reunited! They are here amongst us to show what’s what at Bowery Electric this evening! I’ll be there because I’m playing rumble guitar with fast food horror show The Othermen along with Dead TricksDoors at 7pm and $15 cover, with tickets available HERE…

The monthly happening for the glitter rock set, Le Crunch, is on tonight at Zebulon! Hosts and DJ’s Josh Styles and Sophie Thunder are joined by guests William Martin and Avi Spivak to play the gammut from glam rock to 50′s grease, with live performance by our modern incarnations of the flavor Sorceress and Burger Records recording artists Fletcher C. Johnson! Blast off is at 9pm, with a mere $5 cover to get a piece of the action…

Oh the horrors of Thee Midnight Monster Hop! Mad Mike Mortician spins psychobilly, voodoo weirdness and garage rock realness from 9pm till close at the natural habitat of this beast, Otto’s Shrunken Head! Tonight’s live excitement is the long awaited return of The Tombstone Brawlers! This is a free freak happening, children!

Closing out the night: after the bands are done at Grand Victory scare off every evil thing inside you with a hot dance at Jumpy’s monthly hang Soul-A-Go-Go! Serious floor mover selections of 60′s soul and R&B all night long from 11pm till close, with special guest Phast Phreddie The Boogaloo Omnibus! No cover!

Adios September, you were real. Hello October, you terrify me…

-Captain Heartlocok

Beach All Day – Danger All Night. That’s the move for the weekend. Seal Your Summer with a Kiss Kiss Kiss:

Friday August 31st

It’s the August edition of REAL GONE! at Otto’s Shrunken Head, and tonight is a proverbial humdinger – live bands are exceptionally killer and kick summer’s keister on it’s way out the door – Brooklyn’s kings of the freakbeat mod sound The Above, Rude-Boy Skin punks The 45 Adapters and openers The Grasshoppers. It’s The Above’s bass player Frank Caira’s birthday as well, so the boys will be getting extra wild! Hosts and DJ’s KittyBeat, Dr. Jones and friends spin garage rock, psych and soul all night so right. 10pm till close, NO COVER…

Giuda is a tough glam rock band from Italy with a full on party sound, and they are here in town tonight at The Cakeshop, supported by The Stalkers and Games! Sophie Thunder and San Francisco’s Matt Stout spin between bands and into the night…$10 cover and 9pm blast off…

After Thursday night’s wildness, even MORE Cavestomp action for Friday at Parkside Lounge: Tonight’s mess features noise punk duo Aliens, no wave garage freak Dmitry Wild and Nashville punks Useless Eaters for their second show in NYC this pass through…! Tony LoFi is your host and DJ. Doors at 8, $6 smackeroos to get in…

Wish Grace of Spades (Watch This Sound, Love So Nice) the happiest of birthdays tonight at her party at Bushwick’s outsider fortress of technicolor Secret Project Robot! Festivities kick off at 7pm with a BYO-Meat barbecue in the backyard, and continues on with performances by Fiona Silver, The Forthrights and Top Shotta Band, with a bevy of DJ’s playing all kinds of dub, soul, rocksteady and more until the people can no longer stand upright! Completely FREE and ALL AGES good times!

Jonathan Toubin says adios to the season by giving all his beach blanket summer style 45′s one last spin before they return to the shelf, tonight at Home Sweet Home for Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down…$5 after 11pm and until 3am, with secret password See You In September enabling you to skip ahead of the line…Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour is on vacation for the next month, FYI, with Har Mar Superstar spinning happy hour for that break…

Our boys Charles Gaskins and Drew Redmond continue their monthly trash-a-thon that is Finger Lickin’ Fridays at Williamsburg’s Grand Victory! Those two spin delinquent garage, trashy R&B and surf rock all night, while your job is to act a fool. This month they’ve got unicorn shaped piñatas and are giving away vinyl (Killer Diller releases and old punk rock 45′s) to lucky people, as well as passing around pitchers of mystery swill. Brooklyn Baby Doll go go dances and we all act like we don’t know any better. No cover, 11pm till close…BONUS BONERS: Volume ONE of the Finger Lickin’ Fridays Podcast! 80 minutes of no-nonsense nonsense and a preview of what’s to come tonight:

Uptown at the palace of the trashy decadence known as The Ding Dong Lounge, DJ  La La Linda closes out the season the way she started it, playing non-stop garage, punk, funk and soul against mind melting visuals, from 10pm till the rooster crows…no cover!

Saturday September 1st

Legendary FL Horror themed surf-punk band The Outrights reunite for their first show in 12 years at Bowery Electric this evening, and to celebrate a new 7 inch on the Go Zombie label, they are giving away 80 copies of said slab of vinyl to the first 80 people in. They play along with The Neutron Divers and Johnnie Lee Jordan & The Boys…$8 cover and 8pm kick off for this one…

Unsteady Freddie’s Surf Rock Shindig, tonight at Otto’s Shrunken Head, brings you a full night of live, authentic surf rock by bands This Spy Surfs, Commercial Interruption, The Maui Hurricane and The Nobs, starting from 9pm for no cover! Freddie and friends spin surf rock records in the front all night long. Summer never ends!

Can’t really find too much about them besides some rough live recordings scattered across the web…but while we are talking about surf rock a band called The Mad Doctors is playing at 11:30 at Bushwick’s Goodbye Blue Monday. Never a cover at this joint…

Don Pedro is hosting a slew of trashy garage punk bands that have deigned to play for FREE for you all tonight:  Earworms, The Amputees,  Low Fat Getting High, The Slapp Happys and Geronimo Son get it on from 8pm at the hallowed hall of trashy good times in Bushwick – once again, no cover for a collection of some fun ass bands…

As always, if we’re missing anything essential, please let us all know by leaving a nice and/or sarcastic comment…Drew Redmond has your rest of the weekend lined up in his Sunday afternoon post -  that is,  if he recovers in time, BWAH ha ha haaaaa

Stay Gold,

Heartlock

Lo que está pasando, niños?

LOTS.

It’s another Godzilla sized collection of cool-ass happenings this weekend in the city…while the normies are away the creatures PLAY.

We got visiting legends. We got major dance parties. We got punk rock throwdowns. We sleep when the sun comes up, MAYBE!

Friday July 20th

Two bands enter…one band leaves! It’s not even time for Wrestlemania yet, but the biggest beat down challenge goes down at Maxwell’s, where The Detroit Cobras take on The A-Bones…NO DISQUALIFICATION! 9pm doors, $15 cover…

Trash garage  antics over at the rock and roller dive for rollers The Gutter! You’ve got headliner Organs, and visiting Purchase, NY band trashers Stolen Girls and Madison Wisconsin’s Dharma Dogs…with DJ Bobby Boulders spinning the rock all night long! 9pm start, $5 cover!

And action tonight at the mecca of it, Don Pedro! Lowfat Getting High plays with more bands that are new AND pleasant to my ears The Hate My Day Jobs and The Oats! Be on the lookout of these kids, they’re all doing it right…9pm, not sure of cover but let’s say maybe $6?

Punk rock show at the grimiest place in Greenpoint, Tommy’s Tavern, with ridiculous action by Secret Police, Altered Boys, Loose Ends, Mutant Genes (check out their enlightening and drunkish interview in the Village Voice HERE) and Ylajali…loud and loose for a proletarian $5 cover…show starts at 8!

And then: DJ Dance Parties ALL OVA you FACE!

Living for Kicks is back at Hi-Fi! It’s a happening happy hour this Friday evening, sir! Madam! DJs Lil’ Jerk and POPWELL are joined by Bradley Dean of Bradley Dean & the Terminals on the turntables, dropping 45 RPM records of the garage and soul flavor. No cover, 6pm till 10…and you might as well hunker down for the night at Hi-Fi, because as soon as these kids are done Mr. Eric Davidson (Livids, New Bomb Turks, et all) rides in to spin punk and garage records from 10pm till late!

The guest DJ at this weekends Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour is none other than Mick Collins of The Gories and The Dirtbombs! You can check out what falls from his cornicopia of sound from 8pm till 11pm with some crazy 2 for 1 drink dealy…of course at 11pm he makes way for Jonathan Toubin and his thang Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down, joined this week by Portland, OR DJ Beyondadoubt (of that city’s I’ve Got a Hole In My Soul party)…$5 after 11pm and until 3am…

Lady La La Linda does you right at uptown rock and roll dive landmark The Ding Dong Lounge, dousing the air with psych, garage and soul sounds from 1opm till last call, no cover!

Hep cats swing from the ceiling for another monthly installment of Rebel Night at Otto’s Shrunken Head! DJ‘s Sei, Jun and Hiromu spin greaser rock and R&B dance tunes from the fifties for shaking the floor, all night long from 10pm on…no cover!

Games! Prizes! Wiggly Go Go Dancer! Blow Up Dolls! All this is yours tonight at Finger Lickin’ Fridays! It’s the late night fun fest for keeps at Grand Victory, going from 11pm till closing hour…Drew Redmond is rejoined by the Phoenix power reactivated Charles Gaskins for some wholesome fun, spinning trashy garage, surf rock, soul and R&B for dancing!

Saturday July 21st

New York City is graced by majestic presence of the legendary Dick Dale this weekend! The first of two area appearances is this Saturday night at Brooklyn Bowl, where the man is joined by no less than Twin Guns and The Lyres! Get your (more affordable) advance tickets here while you can, and get there early as Twin Guns is set to hit the stage at 8…and you don’t need to go anywhere else for the afterparty, as it’s going down right where you stand: immediately after the show DJ’s Josh Styles, Billy Miller (Norton Records) and Todd-O-Phonic Todd (Telstar Records, NJ) host the official Dick Dale afterparty Surf City! These three will spin wild surf rock 45′s all night, Anna Copa Cabana shimmy’s on the platform and Andy Animal hosts a limbo contest at 1am. How low can you go? $5 cover for this portion of the nights festivities…

We’re REALLY getting it this weekend with visiting greats, as Shonen Knife is in town! Catch them tonight at The Bell House along with their American tourmates, the ginger badasses White Mystery! Brooklyn heavy psych band Flown kicks it off…$12, doors at 8pm!

It’s the end of an era, truly: Tonight marks the very last time you get to sweat at Glasslands, as this will be the final time that The NY Night Train Soul Clap and Dance Off will be held at this location. It just got too dang big and there was never enough room to dance, just ’cause everybody has to be there…but it’s going out with a bang after 5 glorious years! Jonathan Toubin and Beyondadoubt spin soul music for victory, with the last dance contest (for cash money, yo! Second place gets a $75 Metropolis Vintage voucher) kicking off at 1am with your panel of underground celebrity judges…Starts at midnight with $5 cover

West Coast glam godz Hammered Satin are in town, playing along with New York city’s own The Foxx, with DJ Avi Spivak between and after the live goodness…tonight at the new Williamsburg speakeasy The Flat (308 Hooper St)…10pm blast off, $5 cover

DJ’s Lynne K and Honky are your last bastion of sanity in the asylum called Union Pool on a Saturday Night – go shake that ass and watch yourself in the back room from midnight till close…free…

DJ C’Mon keeps the East Village rocking with The Saturday Takeover, playing garage, glam and powerpop music all night from 1o till 4am at whisky haven Idle Hands…no cover…

Dammit, I’m DONE! If somehow we missed something that belongs here just hit us on the comments section. Check back here SUNDAY with Drew, as the early week is looking not too sane either!

Ta Ta For Now,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Heartlock

Hey Summer 2012: Come at me, Bro

Here we are again – on our own and with all of you – standing at the precipice of the end of spring and the unofficial beginning of the summer season in New York City as we tumble into Memorial Day Weekend. Time for daytime drinking, barbecues, bathing suit babes and hunks, mosquitoes, non stop complaining about the heat, riots, dumb festivals, freak thunder storms, hot romance, ice cream trucks and sweaty, raunchy blues. I expect all of that and more (Mothra attack? Please???) as the Summer of 2012 is looking to be a doozy and a half…

While it’s pretty quiet on the live show front this weekend and nowhere near as manic as it’s been all month, those who are smart enough to not try to escape the city with all the other lemmings will find plenty of rock and roll diversions for their long weekend…Oh the ways we celebrate fallen soldiers by falling on our faces:

Friday May 25th

Sweaty rock and roll show at party crib 285 Kent in Williamsburg, featuring The So So Glos and Lost Boy! Not too familiar with the other acts Life Size Maps (who do a poppy punk thing with some experimental flourishes if their bandcamp page is any sign) and young kid four piece punk band The Big Ups, but there you go, show! DJ’s TBA, 8pm doors, $10 cover…

Tonight at Hoboken’s finest venue, the legendary Maxwell’s, catch live performance by The Manitobas (the new all star band fronted by Handsome Dick Manitoba of The Dictators), supported by the wild and raucous duo of punks in love The Naked Heroes! This one kicks off at 9pm, $15 cover…

Here’s Handsome Dick waxing angry poetic about how much the East Village sucks now before the band rips into histrionics

Monthly throw down Real Gone! is here to kick off the endless summer and salute the freak flag with three wild live acts: from 10pm on, shake it to power pop priestess Jana Peri and her band, Philadelphia heavy psych band St. James and the Apostles and Bethlehem, PA psychsters Original Sin…as always your groovy hosts and DJ’s KittyBeat, Dr. Jones, Xerox and special guest Jack Savage throw down garage punk, psychedelia and deep soul in the front room…all this for no cover from 10pm till close at Otto’s Shrunken Head…

And here are your great DJ record parties for the evening:

* Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour kicks off the wild night that is a Friday at Home Sweet Home, with that wild ginger savage Charly Himmel spinning trash, punk, glam and whatever else she damn well pleases from 8pm till 11pm (with 2 for 1 drinks specials), followed of course by Jonathan Toubin and Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down from 11pm till closing time with his ’45 record collection of 60′s floor movers and rump-a-bumpers ($3 cover after midnight)…

*Phast Phreddie and Girlsoul do The Discophonic Walk at hormone heavy, pina colada palace The Commodore in Williamsburg from 10pm till close, spinning all ’45s of soul, funk, garage, ska, R&B and everything else that shakes the foundation…no cover!

* The loud and lovely La La Linda has got her weekly swing at The Ding Dong Lounge in the Upper West Side, calling tonight’s edition Living Stereo - she threatens – and not lightly, mind you – to play wild sounds “from Godzilla to Garage to Punk to Pulp Fiction” – fuzz, funk, and soul all up in your face, with VJ Linear Regression making your eyes and mind melt together…10pm till the sweet end, no cover…

* New piñata! New sex dolls! Same insane lust for life! It’s Finger Lickin’ Fridays at Grand Victory, where mah boys Drew Redmond and Charles Gaskins throw the kind of rock and roll bachelor party I would like to imagine for myself, spinning all kinds of greasy R&B, soul, surf, rockabilly and garage rock while encouraging what could only described shenanigans. They’ve also gone out of their way to create s FREE mix CD of some of these rad sounds for you people. Come on, now! Making the party from 11pm till close, with no cover!

Saturday May 26th

Thee Midnight Monster Hop, it’s terrifiying fun and is on at Otto’s Shrunken Head – no bands this time around but that just means you can move furiously in the back room to the sounds of Mike N’ Stein (The Memphis Morticians) and Mike Lewi, spinning 50′s R&B, rockabilly and garage rock all night from 10pm till 4am, no cover…

DJ C’mon is at Idle Hands in the East Village waging The Saturday Takeover, playing garage rock, power pop and punk music from 1opm till 4am where whisky flows and burgers broil…no cover…

And could that really be it for Saturday night? Let us know if we’re missing something, which is always possible seeing as we are so tragically human…

Drew is back on Sunday with whatever the hell is going on Sunday through Tuesday…Have a Joy!

-Captain Heartlock

Off the Computer and Into the Streets, Fink!

We all know the old saying that March goes out like a lamb…but this is New York City, so it goes out like a vicious drug addled sewer rat in love!

Holy Roman Empire of Fuck! We are looking at a STACKED weekend for rock and roll action this go around, and for once both Friday AND Saturday nights are packed to the gills…let’s waste not a moment of our lives:

Friday March 30th

The Hussy is a trashy garagepunk duo from Madison Wisconsin that is in the midst of a big east coast tour, with records to promote for several labels (Tic Tac Totally, Eradicator Records and Goodbye Boozy Records).  As your broker, I say buy buy buy! They are playing tonight in Bushwick Brooklyn at The Acheron (57 Waterbury Street, between both the Montrose and Morgan L trains, which ARE running, for ONCE!), along with Foster Care, Pampers and Nuclear Santa Claust. Not sure of the cover ($8 dolla? ) but know that it is ALL AGES. 8pm doors.

Further into Bushwick under the el tracks at Lone Wolf is yet another bombastic rock experience: Dmitry Wild‘s new project WOW! (mixing Suicide style, simple electro beats and Velvet’s garage sneer), the Amram bro fronted punk duo Ken South Rock (never have I heard someone make a plugged in acoustic guitar sound so much like a violent rhino orgasm), a new band on  Get Hip called Neighbors (totally classic mersey beat / garage rock sound) and the Young Brooklyn Lords of Glam Rock, Pretty Quick. All this action for $8 dollars and a 9pm kick off time, with DJ Elevator Operator spinning garage and punk classics between and after bands!

Last Friday’s of the month mean the latest edition of long running garage and psych party Real Gone! at Otto’s Shrunken Head, with your hosts and DJ’s KittyBeat, Dr. Jones, special guest Jack Savage and late night closer Xerox playing all kinds of garage punk, soul, and flower time psych rock! Live performances in the back room by twanged-out surf punks Pacifica Roadshow, art rock gal duo Perp Walk and fuzzed out power trio Bachslider (fronted by the one and only Honeychild)! Party starts at ten and no cover…

Brooklyn’s Knitting Factory hosts a rare local appearance by the legendary Sonic Boom, he of Spacemen 3 fame and mastermind behind one of the greatest, most freaked out shoegaze records of all time, “Spectrum”. He’s supported tonight by Crystal Stilts and it looks like tickets are still available here, get em‘ while you can! It’s $15 at the box office with 8pm doors….

If you happen to already be on 14th Street check out CrystalBlu and her happy hour spin To Sir With Love from 7pm till 11, spinning classic girl group sounds, garage, psych and soul at Beauty Bar…

Uptown denizens can freak out to La La Linda and her odyssey of psych, soul, funk and punk sounds at The Ding Dong Lounge from 10pm till close!

Shakin’ All Over is going down at Home Sweet Home but as of this writing I have no idea who the DJ’s are…Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour should also be in effect from 8 till 11…

***ADDENDUM!*** Almost left his out: The Rebel Night kids take over Motor City tonight! Major 50′s and 60′s rockabilly and doo wop all night long courtesy of Hiromu (rumble man from The Baxx SiSis) Sei and June! Anna Copa Cabana go-go dances on the bar…for great victory! 10pm, no cover!

Do you like racist blow up dolls? Piñatas filled with candy, gum and condoms? Jello Shots? Of COURSE you do, you creep! That’s why you want to be at Finger Lickin’ Friday at Grand Victory in Williamsburg for ALL that and more, where my colleages Drew Redmond and Killer Diller Records head honcho Charles Gaskins spin bratty garage, 60′s trash, teen punk and surf records all night from 11pm till the bitter, nasty end – along with all the aforementioned deviancy! No cover!

Saturday March 31st

Start your Saturday RIGHT with a “circadelic”  tribute to one of the greatest albums EVER, at No, WE’RE The Village Green Preservation Society! Today at the trapeze party house Big Sky Works (29 Whythe Ave. and North 13th Street, Williamsburg)  there will be two shows, two chances to check out a unique, multi-media interpretation of the seminal album by The Kinks – a 4pm kid friendly matinee and an 8pm encore… experience an interactive art installation and circus show!  Witness aerial feats and acrobatic leaps and lose your minds eye to a psychedelic light show (courtesy of none other than B.A Miale), all accompanying the album performed in it’s entirety live by The March Fourth with appearances by Ana Copa Cabana and many more surprise guests. This is a very, very special thing, kids… $10 cover!

When the night falls…we go wild…

The people behind the mythical and much missed Cavestomp festivals present an extremely rare appearance by the legendary, primitive garage punk warlocks, The Lyres! It’s the original lineup here, supported by Brooklyn’s own The Above, The Siberians and Philly freakbeaters The GTVs (the band that has risen from the ashes of what was once Mondo Topless). I expect the roughly 100 person capacity of punk dive Local 269 on East Houston street to burst at the seams. I really don’t know how they are going to pull it off, as I know people flying from out of state to see these guys, so if I were you I’d get there EARLY, like at 7pm, 8 the latest, just my advice…only $10 cover for a “can’t lose” bill.

Guitar Wolf makes a mighty and savage return to New York City tonight to The Knitting Factory in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, killing your ears and enciting your soul to riot. They’re supported by local punkstersThe Transistors and Little Seizures, with Tony Lo-Fi spinning inbetween bands. A real hot one – 9pm doors, $15 in advance, $17 day of show…

Fresh off of totally destroying Cake Shop last night, heavy duo Magnetix is back for night two of garage rock chaos, this time at underground rock crib 285 Kent, joined by the back off the road Xray Eyeballs. $8 bones to get in, 9pm start time?

Here they are last night at Cakeshop (shot by Shimmy, pardon the chaotic audio)

Over at Zebulon – another lush edition of Josh Styles and Sophie Thunder’s party Le Crunch! Your hosts and DJ’s are joined by “Baby Boy” Blake from Pretty Quick, with performances by an unplugged, raw and sensuous Andy Animal, The Outa Controllers and the vaudevillian wonder Hula Hoop Harlot Melissa Anne! Only $5 smackers, 9pm doors…

Don Pedro is hosting a party for yet ANOTHER two man garage rock group in town, Detroit’s The Fuzz. They’re supported by Cinema Cinema, Runny and The Mess Around for a bill kicking off around 8pm. Cover?

If in the city you must be, only two things worth mentioning:

Midnight Monster Hop at Otto’s Shrunken Head, with Mike Mortician spinning greasy 50′s rock and roll and r&b 45′s – don’t know who the bands are this month though…I’d love to be clued in if YOU do!

DJ C’Mon and The Saturday Night Take Over at whisky palace Idle Hands, where she spins everything the miscreants from the burbs who invade the East Village every weekend probably don’t wanna hear, mainly rock and fucking roll! No cover, from 10pm till close…

******

That’s a WHOLE lot of weekend for your weekend. Whatever you decide to do…DO IT LARGE

-Captain Heartlock