LIVE MUSIC Is FUCKING AWESOME!!!! "colourful vomit" by_m_U_n_s_t_e_r on DeviantArt

So how’s everyone’s sanity and livers holding up?

CMJ week is in it’s final throes, and whether you think it’s bullshit or whether you crowded into a packed room to see your favorite band or attended any one of dozens of “anti” parties -  it doesn’t matter because it’s bigger than you! Like Christianity or mom jeans!

We go on: here’s all the shit going down tonight and tomorrow (Saturday) in our town…and just when you think it’s over you better keep in mind next week is the WFMU record fair and the weekend before Halloween…we are going to die.

Friday October 21st

Continuing what’s been a hell of  a week at good ole Don Pedro is the two day Rock and Roll blowout of Friday and Saturday night. This evening’s got the force of nature Born Loose headlining a bill that includes The Stags, Little Seizures, The Mess Around and The Bamboo Kids. Shapow! $8 cover, 8pm doors…

Cake Shop hosts a double stuffed CMJ showcase for Kanine Records, with bands every damn hour from 7pm till closing time. Bands of note playing are Eternal Summer at 10:30, Royal Baths at 11:20 and Xray Eyeballs at the ripe ol’ hour of 2am…not sure how much it costs for non badger flashers…speaking of, check out the kids in their brand new and seasonally appropriate music video:

Back to Bushwick Brooklyn for an anti-CMJ throwdown Widening the Filth at the newly renovated and stranger than ever Party Xpo (which I believe is now going under the moniker 929 Xpo) -  It’s a real mixed bag of sounds (this is a showcase featuring many of the bands that helped build the space and/or rehearse in the building) but you DO have Japanther (11pm) and Organs (2am) playing with full frenzy so it ought to be interesting…$10 Cover and 7pm doors…

Across the street at Bushwick Beauty Bar: Friend of the show and DJ Nogood Nick will be celebrating his birthday by throwing down choice wax selections of soul, garage rock and rubba dub reggae, as he’s joined by friends  Big Sir, Bunny Punch, K-Sol, Popwell and Quitty on turntable rotation! Cheap drinks, no cover, boss sound await at 10pm…

Tonight at Shakin All Over Under Sideways Down at Home Sweet Home in China Town: Main Man Jonathan Toubin spins his impeccable selection of doo wop, soul, garage and girl group records and possibly previews some of his new Halloween themed finds, while Matt Hollywood DJs in the new upstairs lounge…As always it’s $3 to get in after 11pm until 3am, and this weeks “skip to the front of the line” password is “MY CMJ PASS DOESN’T WORK HERE”…heh!!!! Ethan Miller plays all kinds of groovy world beat music from 8pm till 11pm for Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour…

New York City’s one true record hop Rebel Night, is on at Otto’s Shrunken Head, with DJ’s Sei, Jun, Kick, and Hiromu dropping 50′s Rockabilly, doo-wop and R&B bangers for all the girls to stroll to…this month they are joined by special guest Mike Mortician! More fun! 10pm till close, no cover ever!

The lovely CrystalBlu is there for you to start your Friday off right, spinning delightful psych, garage and 60′s soul for happy hour at Beauty Bar on 14th Street! She’s on from 7pm-11pm so you can go get your nails did, gurl!

And of course, the Uptown front against boredom is ably commandeered by La La Linda Rizzo and her non stop barage of garage, psych, soul and funk at The Ding Dong Lounge, from 10pm till closing time!

Saturday October 21st

It’s day two of the rock and roll shitstorm at Don Pedro! Tonight: The Bon (ex-Leather Uppers from Canada), Cudzoo and the Faggettes, The Dirty Shames, Party Lights and Philadelphia’s Jukebox Zeroes come together to tear it apart! First band on at 8pm sharp, says the invite…but we know Don Pedro time, eh?

Another cool Pixie 007 production at Bushwick’s Lone Wolf, with punk rock supah-group Dino’s Boys, all girl powerpop gang The Foxx, Organs and trippy baroque dance rockers Discovery! There is a hip hop act at the very top of this bill which is confusing the hell out of me but whatever…9pm doors, $7 cover!

The Saturday Takedown is on at Idle Hands in the east village, with DJ C’mon, her selection of cool garage, powerpop and indy, and all the whisky your sick gullet can handle! No cover, 10pm – close…

Last and by no means least: The Damned are here to play their seminal albums ”The Black Album” & ”Damned Damned Damned” in their entirety at Iriving Plaza. This is sold out, but New York being New York there STILL may be tickets out there, some where. Neat Neat Neat.

That’s what’s going on out there. I am almost CERTAIN I’m missing some shows going on, so feel free to add them in the comments section.

Keep hope alive, you jive buzzards.

-Captain Heartlock

Glub Glub Glub, my fishies! It’s Mermaid Parade weekend!  One of my favorite weekends in New York City, as it’s yet ANOTHER excuse to dress up like a lunatic and not have anyone look at you all funny. For all it’s grit and grime Coney Island is still a beautiful, severely rock and roll place and there’s no better excuse to get on the D train than this celebration of the sea…Seems like every time this year things get a little Old Bay spicey all OVER the damn place…let’s take a dip into the ocean of madness, shall we?

Friday June 17th

The main event of the evening is HULLABALOO, that swinging series of shindigs put on by some of the fiends behind this site: Tonight is the official record release of the Twin Guns 7 inch and full length album on Killer Diller Records! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY brings the electric pathos like the brothers of sweet destruction Andrea Sicco and Jungle Jim Chandler, who combine the best of garage punk, surf, Cramps like terror and reverb drenched dreamscapes into a tasty melange, and the long awaited release of recorded material is a momentous occasion. They are playing with swampy blues stomping stylistas The Luxurious Faux Furs and R&B Freakbeaters The Above, and the place to be for all that is new rock and roll venue St. Vitus in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The place is fucking LUX, the perfect setting for an evening of decadence! Doors are at 8pm and the bands start PROMPTLY at 9pm as live music MUST be done by midnight, so don’t be a punk and dilly dally getting there. Shimmy and Drew will be spinning the good vinyl between and after bands while our boy Charles Gaskins mans the merch tables where you can buy not only the Twin Guns debut but ALL the other cool fucking bands on Killer Diller! Only a $5 dollar cover for a whole bucket of fun.

Twin Guns: The End of the Ride

Meanwhile over yonder in Bushwick Brooklyn: WILD PUNKS INVADE BROADWAY. Look out! DIY Gallery to the Art Stars Party Xpo hosts gutter-tastic punk bands: New Jerseys’ Dead and Gone, No Vice, The Scandals, Abject and the amazing Scum City. First band is on at 8pm, $7 cover, and cool for the kids, this is ALL AGES, like it used to be!

You’ve probably heard that it’s the Northside Festival this weekend, and there’s all kinds of poo poo going about Williamsburg associated with it this weekend. With NO DISRESPECT to any bands out there who are participating in this, we REALLY don’t need TWO CMJ Festivals in one year, and that’s really all this is: trying to cram a bunch of bands into a bunch of venues all at once, a bunch of so called “industry” people in day glow badges bar hopping and trying to score free shit from a bunch of corporate sponsors promising eternal life…Nonetheless, I would be remiss to not point you to one worthy show, that being the Kanine Records showcase at Brooklyn’s Knitting Factory where such luminaries as the psych boppers Xray Eyeballs, twee garage pop band Eternal Summers and Surfer Blood are playing, amongst others. $12 entry or free with your laughable badge…doors at 8pm!

Xray Eyeballs – Crystal

Friday Night is Latin for A THOUSAND MOTHERFUCKING DJ DANCE PARTIES! And they’re all tight:

Jodie Artichoke returns ever so briefly from her new home of Stockholm, Sweden to join Your Pal Josh and DJ It at Williamsburg’s finest rock and roll pinball bar The Satellite Lounge! The kids will be playing bad ass psych, garage, soul, kraut rock, space rock, glam rock, prog rock and rock rock rock! No cover, 1opm…

Chief selector Grace of Spades spins all vinyl cuts of reggae, ska, punk rock and soul at The Gutter! She gets your right with the world from 9pm till late, also no cover! AND with deals on bowling after 1am, just saying…

The Technicolor Lady Linda Rizzo spins garage, psych, punk and funk at uptown Manhattan’s dive castle The Ding Dong Lounge, 1opm till they kick the beer soaked loonies to the curb…

Tonight’s edition of Shakin’ All Over finds captain Jonathan Toubin joined by sax man James Chance, who will be not only spinning but also blowin’ horn all over some fresh soul and R&B tracks! Home Sweet Home on Chrystie Street in Chinatown is the place…Shakin’ starts at 11pm and is $3 dollars to get in at that time, with password CONTORT YOURSELF to skip ahead of the typical “Weekend at Bernie’s” goons…it’s FREE if you happen to get there early enough for Metropolis Vintage’s Happy Hour, where Drew will be spinning brat punk and 50′s gunk from 8pm…

Tonight marks the SIXTH ANNIVERSARY of THEEEE premier 50′s rockabilly dance party, Rebel Night, at Otto’s Shrunken Head! The Japanese rocker kids have been keeping the scene alive like nobody’s business and putting even the best dancers to shame, while pretty lasses do the stroll in their poodle skirts! Your hosts and DJ’s Sei, Jun, and Kick and Hiromu of The Baxx SiSi’s are joined by special guest Tony T for what should be a celebration for the ages! 10pm, no cover, AND NO BLOCKING THE DANCE FLOOR!

Saturday June 18th

MERMAID PARADE! Alright! You put on your costume and it STAYED on! You had your sun stroke! You brown bagged it on the boardwalk and rode The Cyclone five times without puking! You’re living large, Ariel, LIVING. Now cap off your evening in the most tripped out way you can at The Annual MERMAID PARADE BALL at The New York Aquarium (602 Surf Avenue). Go Go Dancers! Burlesque! Sexy Synchronized Swimmers! SEALS…doing TRICKS! And live performances by spytastic surf band The Moto Wrays and the wild garage savagery of Labretta Suede and the Motel 6! Tickets are SCARCE for this one come Saturday, so if you don’t have ‘em now, GET ‘EM.

That crazy wrecking crew The Oh Sees are playing at Brooklyn Bowl tonight, another Northside Festival thing-a-ma-doo…8pm show! And a special surprise guest is teased…could it be….SATAN? If only…

The Knitting Factory will be the place to see Austin TX jangly country-garage rockers The Strange Boys, supported by White Fence and Easter Vomit (featuring members of The Beets)…$12 cover and 8pm doors…

On the other not north side of Brooklyn, at Park Slope’s The Fifth Estate, my psychedelic cult rock band Madam Robot and the Lust Brigade will TESTIFY before the huddled rum drinking masses at 9pm, joined by oddball Americana / Honky Tonk group Gods Illa Mutual! That shit is FREE, son!

Finally, the only DJ happening of note I got for the evening is Dj C’mon at Avenue B dive hang Idle Hands (25 Avenue B, to be exact!) She’ll be playing all sorts of punk and garage rock, past and present, for the children of the night. No cover, 10pm!

If we’ve forgotten anything truly happening, please leave a comment below…Enjoy your weekend! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

—Commodore Heartlock