A crisp chill in the air…a leather jacket zipped just to the chin…the strappy sandal replaced with the leather boot…the switch from mojitos to bourbon…can you feel it? FALL is IN, you mothers! And as predictable as magical ponies leaping to their deaths from a rocky New England cliff on the blood harvest moon, rock [...]
The Deceitful Quietude of A Wet September Eve
Happy Wednesday, patricians! Captain Heartlock here with a quick update of stuff going on Wednesday and Thursday night. It’s always like this after a long weekend as there’s not an overflowing bathtub of options like usual, but hey, that’s alright. If you find yourself out and about irregardless, you can be entertained in the following [...]
When Rome Gives You Fires, Make Smores
Hey Ya’ll? Anything interesting going on? Lucky that we are young and debauched, for it’d be so easy to get brought down by the shit of the day, if you’re the world weary sort who wears awareness like a neck weight…And just in case you’re about to assume the coccon position, I say to you: [...]
HELTER SWELTER
Yeah, it’s Hot as Fuck. We know. So put a popsicle in your ear, you dummy! It’s the weekend, dammit, and nothing stops us. Not even hell on earth. SUPER AMOUNTS OF FUN to be had, all around town, much of it where cold air conditioning and colder drinks (shocker of shocks!) are to be [...]
“Not One Bummer This Whole Damn Summer”
I bet you never thought we’d get here, what with the seemingly endless winter, that subzero coke binge of a season that dumped historic amounts of white frozen shit upon us. I bet you thought the world would was going to be over on Saturday and that you’d be dead, either partying with the sinners [...]
Apocalypse WOW
It’s old news now that according to some moonbat Christian doomsdayers, THIS IS THE LAST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE. Of LIFE IN GENERAL. Judgement! The world will end on Saturday the 21st. If there’s any incentive to go out and raise a ruckus of apocalyptic proportions, THIS IS IT. Not that YOU ever needed any excuses to freak out, but here’s your free pass. I’d discourage mass looting and window smashing, though: I don’t think the fuzz are hip to this…
A Day at the Races
I don’t bet on the horsies (and neither should your broke ass), but right here in this little old blog post I’ve got SURE BETS on where to go to get some ACTION this weekend, starting tonight…
One For You, Nineteen For Me
Happy Tax Day, New York City and the Greater Metropolitan Area! George Harrison smiles down upon you from his place in Heaven in disgust as he listens to his timeless guitar solo being played on 1010 WINS News Radio 20 thousand fucking times today! Yes, your devalued American dollars are going towards dropping bombs in the third world…not much you can do about that besides taking that refund check and BLOWING IT on FUN. Your life will outlast your money, guaranteed. So… lets do it!
Something Something Crazy
When life gives you lemons, go make margaritas! When life gives you the fleas, start a flea circus and charge admission! When life gives you a spring weekend in the Greater New York Metropolitan area jam packed with bad ass underground rock and roll happenings and dance parties, you take it by the hand and yell “KISS ME, you FOOL”! Yeah, cause you like it THAT way.
“Sangatsu no Raion”
What’s the Frequency, Kittens? Lo! Ti’s the middle of the week, it’s the end of March (which indeed came in like a Lion in heat and then proceeded to go out like a complete SUCKA, so cliché…), it’s the beginning of spring, it’s the end of your funk, it’s the beginning of all your desires made manifest like the budding allergy bombs on winters forgotten branches! For you’re to become an April Fool soon, all over again…
