Ronnie Spector, one of many greats at this weekends Ponderosa Stomp

Ladies and Gentlemen, what it is, what it is? Here we are standing at the gates of yet another overstuffed weekend of madness…To what strange dimensions of being can your Metrocard, your steel lined liver and crazy willpower take you THIS TIME?

Friday July 29th

The Black Lips are back in town, ready to spit and sweat all over you. Tonight they’re at Bowery Ballroom. Tickets are still available as of press time ($20 dollars, 9pm showtime)…they rock Maxwell’s tommorrow night, coincidentally, but that one’s sold out…the boys will be having an official after party and spinning some tunes at Brooklyn Bowl, which will cost you $5 to go bask in their glories after 11pm…

At Bushwick Brooklyn’s Lone Wolf, which is fast becoming a new favorite venue for le rock, witness a FREE raucous showcase of badness with Triple Hex, 1-800 Band, Pretty Quick and Tommy Volume (of the late great  Star Spangles)…9pm kickoff for this one!

Put on yer big boots and suspenders for an oi! punk throwdown at The Trash Bar. It’s The Hub City Stompers
starring FED UP!, The 45 Adapters, Scrapers, Big Shots and The Fighting 405…Kicks off at 8pm just in time for the one hour open bar…$8 cover…

If you haven’t had enough, get more: Laura Rebel Angel presents The Psychobilly Luau Redux, featuring a small handful of bands that played last weekends festivities: The Henchmen, Furious and The Limit Club return to play Bar Matchless tonight before taking off for their respective parts of the planet. $8 cover, 7pm doors…

The House of Vans. Yep, as in the “cowabunga doood” skateboarder sneaker company and their rock and roll venue at 25 Franklin Street in Greenpoint Brooklyn. Say what you will about all that, but they’ve got a pretty happening bill tonight with peformances by Fucked Up, Cro-Mags, Screaming Females, and Pissed Jeans. And I do take my hat off to them for making this a FREE event. You’ll need to RSVP by clicking right over here. Doors at 9pm

Continuing their raid of NYC, Atlanta GA glam punkers The Biters play Bowery Electric for the second weekend in a row, this time supported by simpaticos The Line, The Big Con and The Threads…7pm doors, $8 cover for this rock and roll mischief…This WILL be done by 11 (so the club can make way for whatever weird things they like to have happen around midnight on Friday/Saturday) so be prompt about it!

The Nuclears, a be-muscled, hairy rock and roll party band with shades of the Detroit sound all over them are playing this evening at the one and only Maxwell’s of Hoboken NJ…not familiar with any of the other groups but these cats are certainly worth the trip. $10 cover…

Okay…Let’s talk about the seventy bajillion DJ parties going down tonight, eh?

First off, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to DJ to the cosmos, Jonathan Toubin! As expected he’ll be celebrating in style at his weekly throwdown Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down at Home Sweet Home, that taxidermy watering cave on the demilitarized zone between Chinatown and The LES. Our boy Drew Redmond kicks it off from 8pm on for Metropolis Happy Hour whilst Todd-O-Phonic Todd and Leah Fishman join birthday boy for the main festivities. Free before 11 and after 3, $3 in between, and tonight’s skip the line hobos password is “GRIM REAPER”…

We are happy to announce the return of Another Scorcher! DJ’s Miss Gemini and Ol’ Stark host one of the preeminent roots reggae nights at their home Huckleberry Lounge on Grand Street, BK. They’ll be joined by the SPQR crew of Gerard and Ursa Major who will jet over from the 45 Adapters gig at Trash Bar to join in on the festivities. Starts at 9, goes to late, and no cover!

In what we’re hoping  to be a ongoing occurrence, WFMU alumni The Professor has a new party called Psychic Soul, where he promises “sultry psychological funk, space soul and throbby pre-disco all night long”…the man has impeccable taste so I’d consider myself warned. Happening tonight from 10pm till close at Blackout Bar, (916 Manhattan Ave) in Greenpoint BK…

Grace of Spades and Jah Point present another lovely edition of Love So Nice at the Bushwick Beauty Bar, with those two spinning rocksteady, rub a dub, and more from 10pm into the sweet nothingness of the late night. Stupid cheap drink specials to be had, and of course, No Cover!

Over at Daddy’s, go say hi and cut a little jig to the sounds from OJ (X-Ray Eyeballs) and Lady Bree who will play garage, post punk and whatever else their little hearts desire from 11pm till close…warming up for their DJ set on Sunday when they play for The Ravonettes at South Street Seaport, I’d imagine!

Linda Rizzo keeps uptown Manhattan rocking and reeling, as she brings garage, psychedelia, punk and funk to the denizens of the north at The Ding Dong Lounge for her weekly happening! Always free, from 10pm till closing time…

Lastly for tonight, you can find yours truly and his co-horts KittyBeat and special guest DJ Lupe Loop (Kathleen of Discovery) spinning garage, psyhchedelia, B Movie weirdness, prog rock and sweet sweet soul music at Otto’s Shurnken Head for this month’s edition of Real Gone! (which is going on close to five years now!) We’ve also curated some fine acts in the live room, with performances by The Truants (doing wild pre-1967 British Invasion covers), newish grungy grungy garage rock band Legz and hep-cat swing band Jimmy and the Wolfpack! 10pm till late, no cover!

Saturday July 30th

Everybody you know is going to Lincoln Center this afternoon for this years edition of The Ponderosa Stomp. Be smart and joint them. The city is blessed by fantastic live peformances by so many legendary ladies of 60′s pop for She’s Got the Power! A Girl Group Extravaganza. Ronnie Spector, Lala Brooks, Leslie Gore, Arlene Smith (The Chantels), Baby Washington, The Exciters…I’m leaving some names off but it’s STACKED. 5pm till 10pm at Damrosch Park Bandshell, Lincoln Center, NYC!

One man showstopper and my vote for entertainer of the year, Brownbird Rudy Relic performs in store at 8pm at Metropolis Vintage! Steel guitar, kazoo and sweat! go great with SAVINGS as they are liquidating their summer stock…

If you’re staying in the city head on down to Otto’s Shurnken Head to cap off your Saturday with fantastic terror – it’s another edition of The Midnight Monster Hop! Mike Mortician throws down 50′s rock and rot records in the front! The Arkhams perform two, count em TWO sets of Chthulu inspired bop in the back! All this from 10pm for no cover!

The Neutron Drivers peform their special secret recipe of high energy melody driven power pop tonight at The Lamp Post in Jersey City, NJ tonight for FREE! I believe they kick off at 9….

Jake Rat presents another thrilling episode of SUPER MODEL DEATH DIVE. This months edition proves to be punk beyond punk, with performances by Foster Care, Livids (the debut of Eric Davidson’s brand new band), brand spanking new debut of almost super group status Dino’s Boys and Family Curse, with burlesque by Emily Friend, DJ’s Jami Wolf & Co in the front and the lovley Glamourpuss djing in the back room. It is, as alwasy, FREE to get in IF you RSVP by sending an email to smddnyc@gmail.com – and this RSVP gets you one hour of open bar of Reyka Vodka! Hang onto yourself…

Finally, DJ Honky and Lynne K spin soul, funk, rockabilly & garage in the back room of Union Pool tonight after the bands are done in the back room from midnight till close to close. If you’re gonna make out with unfortunate strangers at least make sure the soundtrack is correct. No?

Yes.

Am I missing some cool happening that SHOULD be here? Let us know in the comments and we’ll make amends. Stay cool, and I’ll see you out there in the world, mother truckers!

-Captain Heartlock