Greetings, kittens! Let us rejoice, for January goes out way more shakin’ that it started, with a absolutely stacked weekend of parties and happenings for all the intrepid dandies, punks, painted ladies, soul scenesters and lovers of fun! Aka, the TRUE ones who will not let these dips into the arctic airstream deter them from living the full and dangerous lives that this merciless city demands!

On, Dasher!

Friday January 25th

Grand Victory in Williamsburg is your one stop tonight for madness in the BK:

Starting off with a fireball show featuring organ and megaphone toting garage punk collective Lex Loser, Nashville’s Big Bad Oven, electric trashy blues duo The Luxurious Faux Furs  and New Jersey super fuzzed up punks Citizen Black Kane! This show starts early with doors at 8pm…not sure of the cover, let’s say $8 dollars for shits and giggles

Promptly at 11 and until 4am, this show makes way for the only DJ dance party that is also a twisted, perverted game show, Finger Lickin’ Fridays! DJ’s Charles Gaskins and Drew Redmond play greasy ass R&B, surf and trash rock ‘45 records, pass around bottles of “mystery hooch”, inflate x-rated dolls and let the patrons of Grand Victory walk away with all kinds of stupid prizes found inside penis shaped piñatas. No cover for this nonsense!

Speaking of Finger Lickin’… listen to the exclusive podcast here:

Finger Lickin' Podcast – Episode One [ 1:13:40 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Hear the sounds you’re missing if you miss this!

Meanwhile inManhattan in the hallowed halls of Otto’s Shrunken Head, it’s the monthly rager Real Gone! There you will find yours truly and my co-horts Xerox, KittyBeat and special guest DJ Matt Marando from The Above and Quitty and the Don’ts spinning non stop 60′s garage punk, psychedelia, weirdo library sounds, sweet soul and outsider rock and roll from 10pm till close, for no cover, my lover! We’ve also got live rock and roll in the tiki room of delights from Glass Mansions, the returning garage fury of The Horehound and The Cloudblues Band, featuring seriously spaced psych jams and (YES) electric sitar! Groove on that!

As always on a Friday night you’ve got Jonathan Toubin keeping the LES pure and pounding at Home Sweet Home at Shakin’ All Over, slinging soul and rock and roll ’45s with special emphasis on the music of Huey Piano Smith, The Bobby Blue Band and Etta James…$5 cover, secret surprise DJ guest is promised, and this weeks “skip the line” password is “SUPERNATURAL STRATEGIES”….

Further north in the wilds of the Upper West Side, at legendary dive The Ding Dong Lounge, you’ll find La La Linda and her VJ cohort Linear Progression bringing sound and vision all night! Psych, punk, soul and funk till the rooster crows, 10pm till close, no cover…

Back to Brooklyn, to the place in the WB where bad boys and girls like to play, The Commodore, for this month’s Discophonic Walk! Phast Phreddie and Girlsoul bring all 45 sin soundtracks of soul, R&B, garage, and other assorted wildness…11pm till close, no cover!

Here’s one we missed: Modern Needs is on Friday this month at Last Exit Bar on Atlantic Avenue. Selectors are Mr Lee and Mr Dean Rispler of Drug Front Records. Garage, Punk and all that’s bad for you. FREE

Saturday January 26th

Two monthly parties that have recently had to find new homes after the unfortunate closing of Williamsburg cultural institution Zebulon return tonight, rising from the ashes of gentrification and soaring into your mind:

• The Glitter and Glam bacchanal Le Crunch kicks off tonight at it’s new gilded nest, decadent party palace The Flat! Hosts and DJ’s Josh Styles and Sophie Thunder are joined by special guest Avi Spivak (Human Being Lawnmower) and Sei Sato (Rebel Night)  for an all night dance party of glam rock, 50′s R&B and 60′s garage rock on the South Side, with live musical performances by The Andy Animal Family Band and  Mystery Lights…9pm till close, $5 cover…

• The great international sex-a-delic sound party Let’s Boogaloo returns to it’s new home Banter (132 Havemeyer Street, Williamsburg BK)! Host Ol’ Stark is joined by Jumpy (of Soul-a-Go-Go and dance floor insanity) and Lupe Loop (aka Discovery  lead siren Kathleen Cholewka)…these three will lay down all kinds of Euro and Latin American grooves, funk and soul, strictly for dancing (which is PERFECTLY OKAY, I swear to you!) 10pm till the end, NO COVER!

Over in Cobble Hill BK it’s time for monthly classic Jamaican Soul and Dub party Another Scorcher! Ursa Major, Miss Gemini and their guest Chrissy Pants drop incomparably cool 60′s and early 70′s vinyl originals from the Island at Last Exit! 10pm till close, no cover…

Here’s one more for Brooklyn: a truly Punky Reggae party at the Swamp (off the Montrose L) with World War IX and some ska groups including some ex-Slacker types. There’s also DJs including the Crazy Baldhead Crew and last but not least “no racist, right wing, backward shit allowed”. RIGHT ON! $?

Back to Manhattan – and back to the Ding Dong Lounge, where La La Linda is pulling a marathon and doing yet a SECOND night of spinning music for dilettantes and delinquents from 10pm till close! VJ Linear Progression should also be on hand to make the lights that reflect  your mind…no cover!

And finally rounding out this weekend of great monthly parties you can trust to move you, it’s Thee Midnite Monster Hop at Otto’s Shurnken Head! DJ Trash Only (aka Mike Mortician) is joined this month by Greg Pacheco (of his own monthly at Last Exit Bar Vinyl Dementia and photographer at larger for Sailor’s Grave Photography) for a terror-ific throwdown of psychobilly, garage, grimy grind and sleaze, all night from 1opm till close, with special live performance by psychobilly ghouls The Spastiks…No cover!

That’s it! Rub Noses and Keep Warm, you Filthy Lion Seals of the North!

- Captain Heartlock

It's All Too Much...

Hey, Flowers! The Weekend – it’s BACK like Rambo!

It’s the penultimate weekend of May, a month that has been as chock full of rock and roll glory as any we’ve seen in some time! For the third weekend in a row there’s SO much competition for your pleasure that you’re going to either have to make some tough choices or figure out that cloning device Dr. Mindbender left down in the laundry room. My job is to inform you of your options, how you choose to blow your mind is your own concern!

Onwards…

Friday May 18th

If you have the true warriors heart, you’ll be starting early and crashing into the morning star:

Bowery Electric hosts a ferocious bill that kicks off at 7:30 pm (still early enough for happy hour) – first up is the electric blues beasts Daddy Long Legs, followed by The Master Plan (rock and roll group comprising members of The Dictators and the Fleshtones) and a group fronted by Deniz Tek, guitarist and founding member of the legendary Radio Birdman! Again, get to this early as the downstairs transforms like a Cinderalla carriage into something fans of our scene will not like at 11pm…not sure of the cover but count on no less than $8 smackers…

The return of Cavestomp is making major waves in the garage punk and power pop scene of New York city, continuing tonight with a stellar lineup that features (in order, from 9pm) Big Riff, a jangly garage duo from Qeubec called PONCTUATION, their fellow countryman and garage punk veteran Skip Jensen and his new band and our own lords of dark surf and reverb nightmares, Twin Guns. This happens tonight at Bushwick’s Brooklyn Fireproof at 9pm, and is a solid, SOLID block of premium rock for a measly $6 dollars! Can not lose.

MEANWHILE not much farther away at the capital of trash known as Don Pedro, is another stellar line up featuring bands I have not previously been privy to but are worthy of your attention: Baba Yaga (an exceptional poppy psych band with garage flourishes) – the extremely rude and weird punk rock and boogey band Baby Erection, and all star cover band The Psycho Hippies! Party kicks off at 9pm…not sure of the cover ($6 dollah?)

Two shows I’m privy to but can’t find too much information on as far as the other acts or times:

The Arkhams bring their Cthulu lovin’ psychobilly swag to Trash Bar

The Horehound rise from the pound at The Fifth Estate

(any other info is welcome, comment section!)

MEANWHILE at Lone Wolf: Another fantastic Pixie 007 production headlined by the harp and horror yells of Organs, fresh off their conquering tour of the south and midwest! They are joined by psych girls American Sun and two of Richmond VA’s finest, Tungs and Heavy Midgets! $5 Cover…

IN THE CITY: It’s the return of the one two punch to end all boredom at Home Sweet Home: DJ Todd Spinn (Front man of The Siberians) plays raucuous garage and frat rock records for Metropolis Vintage Happy Hour from 8pm till 11pm (no cover, 2 for one beers and well drinks!), after which time Jonathan Toubin returns to his rightful place at the helm of Shakin’ All Over Under Sidways Down from 11pm till the end of the night ($3 cover after 11)…it’s a non stop dance party all night and an education for all the squares. Take your sassafras down there and Show them how!

La La Linda is uptown at The Ding Dong Lounge , doing her Friday Night Best to inoculate you from nonsense with healthy doses of garage, psychedelia, soul and funk from 10pm till the rooster crows…no cover!

If you’re gonna be in Manhattan early for the Bowery Electric gig or just wanna shake your 9-5 ya ya’s out, I can’t recommend more checking out the duo of Popwell and Lil’ Jerk for their happy hour throwdown Living for Kicks at Hi-Fi in the East Village! They’re on from 6pm till 10pm and dare you to bear sonic witness to a domestic argument over which format reigns supreme: sultry 60′s soul or dirty Jamaican rub-a-dub dub? Can’t we all just get along? Fuck that! Dance it out. No cover!

It is ALSO that Friday of the month for the best 50′s R&B, twist and rockabilly dance party probably ANYWHERE in the east coast, Rebel Night! Otto’s Shrunken Head is the place, ace, and the kids dress and move like they mean it. Your host DJ’s Dj Sei, Jun, and Hiromu (from The Baxx SiSi’s) are joined by the one and only Dirty Dan on the decks this evening! Kicks off at 10pm, and as usual for everything awesome that happens at Otto’s there is no cover…

Finally for Friday, it’s the return of Knights of the Round Table, where Sir Mikey, Sir Chris and Sir (Mr.) Fine Wine regale all the kids with the finest, choicest and rarest 6o’s soul and R&B on 45′ vinyl, over yonder at trouble palace of fried chicken thighs and the big pina colada The Commodore! 10pm – 4am, with a slow dance session to close the night out at 3 for all the horny toads to pair off to…

Saturday May 19th

If you didn’t blow your wad Friday night and you have the wherewithal to rise during daylight hours like a real human being, there’s some fun to be had in the sun on what is forecast to be a gorgeous Saturday – it’s the annual Brooklyn Flea Spring Record Fair! All you vinyl junkies assemble to peruse amongst 34 vendors (indie record shops, labels and dealers alike), taste all that delicious “Artisinal” shit from Smorgasburg (cupcakes and jerk chicken go together like hot sex and cigarettes!) and do it all to the sounds from various cool kids with cool taste who will DJ for you throughout the affair, including members of the bands Psychic Ills and X-Ray Eyeballs! 11am till 6pm, located at 27 N. 6th Street, down by the East River in (where else) Williamsburg BK…

And then…night falls:

Hullabaloo returns! Tonight’s edition takes place in it’s natural habitat Don Pedro, headlined by Cincinnati OH trashy garage punk band The Long Gones! Check their sound:

These guys are supported by some of our own towns grimiest: Glam rock valkyries The Foxx, the fuzz ladies of American Sun and the squawk and roll frenzy of The Jigglers! Our very own Shimmy and Charles Gaskins spin greasy rock and r&b records between bands and into the not so sweet night! First band is on at 9pm, $ 7 cover!

It’s eerie and unfortunate that a just as powerful garage punk bill is happening at exactly the same time across the water, courtesy once again of Cavestomp: at Parkside Lounge, which looks to be holding the mantle for live non-douche rock and roll in the East Village, the garage show purveyors present a killer bill: PONCTUATION and Skip Jensen back for a second night in a row and are joined by the Farfisa drenched psychedelic fury of The Living Kills and King’s County’s Kings of Freakbeat The Above, who are debuting a brand new lineup and configuration! All of this for only $6? PRIMITIVE. 8pm start time, children!

Nick Waterhouse and his Tarots perform their neuvo retro soul revue tonight at Mercury Lounge, with Mr. Robinson (Dig Deeper) as your DJ…the show is SOLD OUT…but hey, hang out in front of the club and somebody might sell you a ticket, miracles HAPPEN, baby…

Not much farther away at Idle Hands catch DJ C’Mon for The Saturday Takeover, as she battles the beasts of village mediocrity with choice selections of garage, indie, power pop and punk records from 10pm till close in the land of bourbon and burgers! No cover…

And that’s the weekend, folks! Check back here on SUNDAY to see what Drew Redmond has to say whats going on for the early week. Have a Good Time, Ya’ll. Go Do You, Girl – Go Do You.

-Captain Heartlock.

The Month Marches on…here we are at the start of yet another weekend in Gotham, with more springlike temperatures in the winterless winter and a twinkle in our eyes! Let’s dress inappropriately and make big trouble!

While we’ve got some hot fucking shit going on it’s not the usual massive clusterfuck as the last few weekends. I wonder! Is it because all the kids are on their way to Austin TX for this music festival with the bloggers and free booze I keep hearing about? What’s it called again? Something that starts with an X.  CMJ? Dammit! This is going to bother me all day!

Friday March 9th

Park Slope, Brooklyn, gets a rare dose of New York City underground garage this weekend, as the girl guitar group a-go-go Party Lights performs along with farfisa psych-punk powerhouses The Living Kills and opening garage duo Dear Hearts. Where? At Hank’s Saloon (46 Third Ave at the corner of Atlantic Avenue, near every subway train imaginable.), the cowboy dive that gentrification just cannot kill! There’s no cover, starts at 9, and DJ Tony Lo-Fi will also be on hand to spin garage, punk, soul into the night.

Two of Toronto’s fines fuzz punk gangs, Teen Anger and METZ do a little NYC invasion! They were at Cakeshop last night but this Friday night they perform  at Death by Audio in Williamsburg, along with self described “cyber punks” (well, they do know how to make dirty synth bass work in a punk rock context!) Pop. 1280 … 9pm doors, not sure of the cover (expect at least $8)

Take a look and a Listen:

Home Sweet Home has got your one two with Metropolis Happy Hour from 8pm till 11pm (hey, who’s on deck tonight? Drew? Charly? Mr. Rabbit?) and Shakin’ All Over Under Sideways Down from 11pm on with Sir Josh Styles holding down and throwing down the sick garage, psych and soul 45′s  till close. $3 cover till 11pm, and yes, still raising funds for the thankfully recovering Jonathan Toubin!

Back over in Williamsburg at Teddy’s is another thrilling edition of Phast Phreddie’s party Dynagroove! This month he’s joined by No Good Nick as special guest DJ. The only spot where you’ll hear spaced out lounge sounds, organ grooves, mod jazz and international swingers soundtracks! He also promises some prime Go-Go dancing music in the later hours. Fantasta-delic! Party goes from 9pm till around 2am with no cover!

Lady La La Linda heals the hearts and the minds with healthy doses of psychedelia, garage punk, soul and vintage funk at uptown villain’s hideout The Ding Dong Lounge! Holding session from 10pm till close with no cover and crazy psychedelic light shows to set your buzz to!

The lovely CrystalBlu eases the denizens of 14th street into the weekend with her groovy happy hour spin To Sir With Love! She spins nothing but the sweetest psych, soul, girl group and surf sounds from 7pm till 11pm, right before you turn into a raging pumpkin…

Saturday  March 10th

***Don’t forget to set your clocks forward one hour before you leave tonight! It’s  Daylight Savings Time! You lose an hour of drinking tonight, but you gain an hour of sobriety, glass half full and all that jazz…or you could hit it extra hard to make up, it’s your life…***

Another wild night at the new fun palace Grand Victory – garage punk puke out with Tommy Volume (The Star Spangles), The Horehound, the wild No Excuses, Play Like A Champion (how I love that name) and headliners, Virginia’s trash kings Nervous Ticks! With Drew Redmond spinning greasy brat rock and stroll between and after bands…this kicks off at 8pm and at only a $6 cover you CAN NOT lose on this one.

The Beat Rats return from their banishment to the forbidden dimension to wreak drunken garage-a-delic madness on our world once again, headling a bill at the rock and roll school house of the Lower East Side, The Suffolk along with Party Lights and The Stags. 9pm doors, and looky look, no cover!

Back in Manhattan, you’ve got DJ C’Mon and her Saturday Takeover at Idle Hands on B…she’s got the garage, power pop and punk, they’ve got the whisky, you got a date!

*** Late Addition *** Almost forgot to list THIS rager: Over in Greenpoint’s luscious St. Vitus, with Pretty Quick,  The Thunderfucks, Tommy Volume and The Psycho Hippies! 8pm doors and $10 cover…

Soul A Go Go is in effect tonight at new home Grand Victory (APPARENTLY after the punk rock show????) where host DJ and the most hyperkinetic dancer in the whole damn town Jumpy is joined by special guest Ol’ Stark for a good old fashioned R&B throw down! Nothing but 45′s and nothing but floor fillers from 10pm till close at this lux pinball beer hall!

If we’re missing anything major, let us know in the comments!

Livin’ La Dolce Vita,

Captain Heartlock

These assholes better bring chips and dip to this alleged party or else I’m gonna cry cry cry.

Hey Hey! It’s Captain Heartlock, your Boy About Town with your “cool shit to do” list between now and the weekend…

It’s old news now that according to some moonbat Christian doomsdayers, THIS IS THE LAST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE. Of LIFE IN GENERAL. Judgement!  The world will end on Saturday the 21st. If there’s any incentive to go out and raise a ruckus of apocalyptic proportions, THIS IS IT. Not that YOU ever needed any excuses to freak out, but here’s your free pass. I’d discourage mass looting and window smashing, though: I don’t think the fuzz are hip to this…

Tuesday May 17th

Start your evening right and tight with Phast Phreddie and his new party Crepuscule With Boogaloo at swank Park Slope area drinkspot The Fifth Estate (506 5th Avenue, Brooklyn NY). From 7pm till about 10 drop by for happy hour specials and spaced out lounge sounds and modernistic mood music…FREE!

White Mystery: Power Glove

From there, make your way to Northern Coolyville (or Williamsburg, as the land barons call it these days) for the first of a week of shows featuring Chicago’s heroes of fuzz tectonics and Rickenbacker badness, White Mystery! Find them at Glasslands Gallery where they’re supported by Racoon Fighter, The Minks and Shadowbox.

After that hubbub stumble towards Greenpoint Brooklyn, to the tippy tip of McCarren Park, to Bar Matchless for Hot Dog!, the party where a bunch of your favorite mod/garage punk/psych DJ’s spin music for a bunch of near belligerent drunk college kids who could probably care less, but it’s FINE because you’re almost broke, it’s FREE, and it’s 2-for-1 drinks all night, and the joint has really boss french fries for soaking up well vodka. KABOOM.

Wednesday May 18th

It’s another fantastic edition of Turtleneck, the party that celebrates space lounge, spy music and mondo exploitation sounds, as presented by CopyCat’s own DJ Xerox and his partner, the intergalactic superstar producer Ursula 1000. Besides their fantastic music selections they have curated a killer lineup of apropo live acts tonight in the form of a rare NYC appearance the Kabuki faced surf rock superheroes Daikaiju, the amazing, cinematic sounds of Morricone Youth and the bearded, spaghetti surf fury of El Muchacho. A solid, near unbeatable lineup that will cost you ZERO dollars starts at 9pm at Otto’s Shrunken Head.

Daikaiju – Zombie Harem

On the DJ FRONT:

New York Night Train is happening at Motor City tonight, with Alix Brown (former Golden Triangle girl) and Psychedelic Sex Panther filling in for Jonathan Toubin while he’s on a tear through the states. 11pm till close at Motor City.

Mr. Fine Wine spins the finest ’45s of the sixties soul and R&B variety at his weekly party at Botanica, fifteen years strong and counting! 10pm till around 2…

Thursday May 17th

A carpetbaggers bundle full of live rock action tonight….

First off! The Underclass Revue presents a showcase at LES scuzzy rock and roll dive bar Local 269, with Memphis Tennesee’s Angel Sluts as headliners and guests of honor! They are supported by local fuckers The Horehound, The Othermen, Dead Tricks, Crazy and the Brains and Nervous Assistant! This starts early at 7pm…only$7 dollars for almost as many bands with some crazy ass drink specials to get you revved up…

Speaking of The Othermen, those fuzzed up garage rock party beasts, they’re hopping in a cab as soon as they’re done with their set and heading to Williamsburg’s Public Assembly where they’ll be playing right before White Mystery! This loud and stellar Lady Bree Production kicks off at 9pm courtesy of one man powerhouse Brownbird Rudy Relic, American Sun and has The Psyched performing after the Chicago ginger kids…$8 dollar cover.

Crash Mansion (which I understand has been renamed Soiree…whatever! A rose by any other name…)(le) poisson rouge in the West Village hosts A Rockin’ Benefit for Japan! Presented by the fine people of Rebel Night and Dances of Vice, Eddie Clendening and The Blue Ribbon Boys (from the Broadway show Million Dollar Quartet), NYC Rockabilly band Rhythm Bound and the one and only Baxx SiSi’s tear it up, with 100% of proceeds going to The Japan Society’s Japan Earthquake Relief Fund. Rebel Night DJ’s Sei and Jun keep it a party, while Hula Hoop Harlot Melissa Anne wows the senses with her ring swinging talents! Do good by doing bad – advance tickets are already sold out but there may still be some at the door for $15…

***

That’s ALOT of trouble to get into before a Friday and this weekend promises to be a DOOZY, what with Nobunny in town for Metropolis Fest II, A crazy  DEVA, Twin Guns and Apehangers house party in Bushwick and THE LAST SUBWAY SOUL CLUB EVER!!!!…Shimmy will have you covered with all that nonsense on Friday afternoon. So don’t use up ALL your powers – save something for the sequel!

Later, punks!                                                                                                                                                             -Captain Heartlock

"POW! Right in the kissah!"

It’s that time of year again: time to find your happily attached friends wearing identical ironic sweaters and stab them as they nap in their love nests! Time to go to Walgreens and open the heart shaped boxes of candy and bite off half of each piece and put them back and then close the box back up and put it back on the shelf and walk out of the store like nothing happened! Time to watch Jennifer Aniston  movies in your underwear while marinating  in a tub of Ben & Jerry’s! Time to buy ill fitting edible lingerie for your girlfriend! Time to duck when she throws a philips head screwdriver at your eye! Time to wait in line for a table at hot new restaurant The Salmonella! It’s on Bedford Avenue and they have vegan artisanal crab sticks! Or NOT…fuck all that noise!

In our world, there are only two holidays that really matter (Halloween and Satan’s Birthday) and Valentines Day (VD Day? HA HA HA HA?) is NOT one of them. And with all due respect to Romantics, even if you ARE in love, OUR people don’t go for cheap sentiment and maudlin Lifetime channel bullshit. Thankfully for YOU, there’s so many things happening this weekend that are of the “fuck-yo-couch” variety that you might even forget this chocolaty capitalist sham-of-the-heart is even happening at all. Come This way!

Friday February 11

HULLABALOO! Wait, didn’t that happen last weekend? Yeah, and? Our boys Charles Gaskins and Shimmy aren’t done with you and have curated your Friday night move for rock and roll madness. The show is headlined by The Jam Messengers, which feature Rob K from The Workdogs and Uncle Butcher. Check out their live appearance on WFMU’s Three Chord Monty radio show to hear the badness they plan to drop on you. They are not likely to play here in Brooklyn again for a very long time so don’t be that “catch ‘em next time around” guy. As if that’s not enough, we’ve got Triple Hex, the witchy kings of the boogie Sorceress and new group The Luxurious Faux Furs which features members of the sadly defunct but forever excellent Headless Hookers so you know it’ll be good. The backroom of Public Assembly is where this takes place. 9pm-4am (Gaskins and Shimmy spin whackadoo boogaloo all night between bands and after!), $7 smackers!

Not too much farther up the way in the Burg of William, find Phast Phreddie the Boogaloo Omnibus and Lenny Kaye (of The Patti Smith Group, and of course compiler of the holy grail original Nuggets compilations) at Teddy’s Bar and Grill for DOO WOP HOP! “Who put the bomp in the bomp sh-bomp sh-bomp? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lamma-ding-dang?” you ask? They answer. Doo Wop and classic R&B  7 inch platters spun correctly, with the foxy Brooklyn Baby Doll gyrating and a-go-going into the night! Kicks of at 9pm, no cover!

Over at Don Pedro, around 9:30 or so, our fuzz punk favorites The Horehound will shake that shellacked ceiling for your pleasure and there’s. Word is Jake Noodles will be joining them for a song or two. I’m not finding much info as far as who else is on the bill (or if it’s any good) but you can at least count on these nutcases…

The 45 Adapters are joined by The Dirty Spiders and a debuting Schweinhund tonight at Bar Matchless for a night of maximum punk flavored toppings kicking off at 8pm!

DJ Ursula 1000 spins glam rock, punk rock, post-punk and power pop for the chicken grease stained faces at The Commodore tonight for a party called Blockbuster! from 10pm till they turn the lights on all bright like and yell at you to get the hell home. No cover!

Friday means fuck your job and SHAKIN’ ALL OVER UNDER SIDEWAYS DOWN at Home Sweet Home down on the battle lines where the LES and Chinatown meet! Not sure who the guest on the decks is this time, but you always know Jonathan Toubin‘s soul, rock, and punk 45′s make the party. Tonight’s password is “kittycat DJ”  to skip to the front of the line ahead of annoying people. $3 admission, free before midnight!

Not too much farther away at the last great dive of the LES Motor City, the Born Loose loonies Larry and Suke spin whatever the fuck they want to of the rock and roll variety! I’m pretty sure Miss Anna Copa Cabana will be shaking it on the bar as well…10pm till! And speaking of dives in Manhattan, uptown denizens are encouraged to go check out the lovely Linda Rizzo at The Ding Dong Lounge where she spins garage rock, punk, funk and soul all through the witching hours. Both of these are free to hang.

Put on your two tone creepers and Skank on up to Otto’s Shrunken Head for a special edition of the monthly rockEm sockEM party: It’s a SKALENTINES PARTY, child! Dj’s Ultra V and Omega are joined by Copycat’s DJ Xerox for a ska lovers affair, with live performances by sympatico bands The Pandemics, The Rudie Crew and Zion Judah & Deep Theta 7. 10pm, never a cover!

Famed soul spot of Alphabet City Nublu hosts a happening monthly on the second Friday of every month called LET ‘S BOOGALOO! Sponsored by Fania Records, DJ’s Turmix and Ol’ Stark spin a wonderful array of  Boogaloo,  soul, funk, jazz, and bossa-nova sounds from the 60′s and 70′s and even the good from today, while live soul/horns band The Ex-Caminos flavor the night with  funkness. $10 cover with an 11pm start.

Saturday February 12

Howzabout starting out your Saturday with some day light hour trouble, like we used to when it was warm? Metropolis Vintage hosts Love Fest! Bands! DJ’s! Booze! Shopping! SAVINGS! Decidedly unromantic rock and roll bands The Jigglers and Nervous Assistant perform live in store, Dj’s Drew Redbone and Charly Heartbreak spin (CHARRRRRRRRRRLY!) sick garage and punk records, drinks will be drank, and YOU will save 30% off every item in store if you print THIS FLYER off of their Facebook event page…

And then, INTO THE NIGHT…

The DIY spirited punk angels Shellshag are part of a big show at The Music Hall of Williamsburg for a Don Giovanni Records showcase, featuring fellow loud freaks The Screaming Females, Laura Stevenson & The Cans , Lemuria and Byrds of Paradise.  7pm doors, 10 dollar bills.

Jonathan Toubin presents the second edition of his new party Boogie Night, where whisky glasses are raised and rumps shaken to deep Devil Dealing blues of the likes of John Lee Hooker, Slim Harpo, KoKo Taylor and more legends and originators! Thrill to  live performance by their descendants Daddy Long Legs, who will surely take you down to the river over two sets at Zebulon! Only $5 dollars for the boogie and woogie!

Lastly, and certainly not leastly, there’s a wild one awaiting at The Church, the underground live/work/worship space in the ‘wick that has seen many a massacre…It’s going to be a night of high contrast and out of control rave-ups at The Black and White Valentine Ball, where everyone dresses in monochrome, where DJ Amanda Otto from Reaction (the Baltimore based mod dance party) spins greatness garage, soul, psych and rock and roll and where Quitty and the Don’ts, The Above and The Electric Mess make love to your mind via live fuzz frugging! This ain’t no homecoming dance. It’s a FREAKOUT. 9pm at you know where!

****************

Enjoy your weekend, my marshmallow peeps.  Fight valiantly the powers of stupidity and never forget that love is all up inside you….

XOXO -Heartlock

"Love is More than Words..."

"I'm afraid I've no hidden gold, nor can I grant you wishes, but I can make your drinks ICY cold with a winkle of me nose and stare at you uncomfortably while you make a poo!"

Chestnuts roasting in an oil drum fire, Jack Frost mugging you for your iPhone…though it is said, many times, many ways, it’s friggin’ cold outside, baby!!!!! Feel that Krispy Kringle chill in the air as we stomp through the various winter holidays of your particular denomination. In celebration of my favorite (the PAGAN), let’s us count the ways we can wantonly occupy ourselves in pursuit of high fun and rock and roll pleasure on these short days and long dark nights over the next couple…

Wednesday December 8th

“Oops Baby”, a new and local independent record label, is having a release show tonight at Brooklyn DIY mecca Death By Audio, featuring X-Ray Eyeballs (starring members of Golden Triangle), Shark? and a bunch more bands that you can learn about by checking out their links on the label’s blog page. The last of the cases of crack infused Four Loko are allegedly being served as your beverage of the evening. Is that a threat? $8 cover, All Ages.

CopyCat is back at Otto’s Shrunken Head, with tonight’s tribute being paid to the sounds and songs of the Lord of Fire Jimi Hendrix. Humboldt Fog, who’s histrionic guitars and wailing overdrive should do the man justice, are joined by The Bowery Boys for this evening of Spanish Castle Magic. Try the $5 themed drink “Purple Haze”, sure to make you see crooked after a couple on an empty gullet…

At CoCo 66 tonight, Lady Bree presents a mixed bag (party mix?) of a bill featuring The Horehound, who are worth the trip alone for their scuzzy garage-fuzz swagger. Comrade Val has always got nutty tricks up his sleeves, so go eat a dumpling (they got cheap dumplings at the place now, go figure!) and check ‘em out. Also on tap is a very strange, sloppy and out there band that kinda makes me think of  Fifty Foot Hose called Peter Pan and the Lost Boys and Personal Section, the new project featuring members of the sadly departed The Choke. All this nonsense starts at 9pm…

DJ ACTION! Wednesday night means kittens, gumballs, brown paper packages tied up with strings, and good good Manhattan grooving courtesy of Mr. Fine Wine and his unbeatable soul/r&b night at Botanica on E. Houston Street, and Jonathan Toubin‘s New York Night Train at Motor City Bar! Both go late, fun and free…

DJ Matt Fiveash of The Underthings and The Piggies will be spinning 60s flavored tunes at The Bar With No Name, which is a brand spanking new upscale drink hole on Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint  from the people who brought you Bar Matchless and happens to, as of yet, have no name…personally I vote for The Bar With No Name to be it’s name…Ennio Morricone themed drinking? Why not?

Thursday December 9th

Public Assembly hosts Hipster Demolition Night VII, and as far as sequels go this one has a pretty strong lineup – in addition to your host Jay Banerjee and the Heartthrobs thrill to the sounds of The Demands, Big Eyes, and Whooping Crane, with Handsome Van Zandt spinning raucous 45′s before, between and after the live acts. 8pm doors, $7 cover…

Back at Otto’s Shrunken Head, it’s Move Your Mule, with DJ’s Agent Jay of  The Slackers, Johnny Metro and Bunny Punch spin heavy doses of ska, dub reggae and punk for your unending pleasure. 10pm, never a cover!

The Brooklyn weirdo-punk band Lost Boy? is playing this evening at Death By Audio, headlining a night in which they are preceeded by some charmingly unoffensive folk / twee bands in a feat of booking genius! $6 cover and 9pm doors, and no Loko to be found (unless you know where, nudge nudge puke puke)…

*****

That’s what’s up, till the weekend, at least…Stay Warm, HeatMeisers!

-Captain Heartlock

Swing, You Sinners!

Hey, Humans! Spook Week Begins! Halloween is this weekend and I broke into your mom’s house and ate ALL the mini Snickers bars and left you with NOTHING but Starburts! Bwah ah aha!

Get your gullets in training for the madness that is to come with the Devil’s holiday by doing THESE THINGS:

Monday October 25th

Drew Redmond is over at Macri Park (around the corner from Union Pool) tonight, spinning all sorts of wild garage, r&b, doo-wop and punkish ’45s. And farting. Quite likely farting.

The weekly Spindletop Jazz party is also a-happening at Botanica’s on Houston St. for you city lubbers, with the resident DJ’s spinning a reliably eclectic mod mix.

Park Slopers can kick over baby carriages as they run to Uncle Heavy‘s soul, R’n'B & funk 45 listening party that takes place at Bar 4 at 7th Avenue and the corner of 15th Street(Off the 7th Ave F/G) from 11pm-2am…

Tuesday October 25th

The Underclass Revue presents a very special Tuesday night freak out. The Tuesday Night Frenzy is a happening featuring the particular talents of psycho garage rockers The Jigglers, The Horehound and the melodic punk with heart TCB. At Bowery Electric, as usual, and though I’m unsure of the cover there’s $4 “delicious” American style beer and a $6 beer and shot combo from our friends at Budweiser…

The Tuesday Night delight that is HOT DOG continues it’s reign of sloppily drunken terror/revelry at Bar Matchless in Greenpoint. Whose on the decks tonight? I don’t know! Whoever it is, you know they’ll spin fiercely and it’s free and there’s two for one drinks and boys and girls with questionable morals. Yeah!

See you behind the grave,

Heartlock