"Oh my God it’s full on! Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh. My. God...WOW!!!! Fuckin' RAINBOWS. How do they WORK????"

Come on down to my ark, baby. Come on down where we can play. Come on down, two by two. Giraffes in the front, party in the back, no baboons permitted on top deck. We board promptly at 8. No stragglers, cause the End Times don’t wait for NOBODY, don’t care WHO your band is opening for. 40 days and nights of champagne showers and a undercurrent that will guide you towards destination: Ouchies! Step lively…

Wednesday August 25th

Mercury Lounge plays host to a “Psychedelic Pop-Rock Spectacle”, where you can lose your marbles and pantaloons to the sweet vibrations of the wild, Exile Stones era shambolics and histrionics of local boys done good Your 33 Black Angels and Darlings, who play a kind of hard pop style that brings to mind Brian Wilson if he was a little more biker than bathrobe. 9pm, Ten Dollar Cover, son!

All Psychos converge on Otto’s Shrunken Head tonight for yet another thrilling edition of CopyCat! as The Back CC’s and The Dirty Shames pay tribute to the all time king daddies THE SONICS in the way only these wild, punktastic bands can. Host and professor emeritus of obscure covers, DJ Xerox, is joined tonight by none other than “The Boogaloo Omnibus” himself, Phast Phreddie, who threatens (and you better buy it!) to play Sonics, Sonics covers, endless Louie Louie variations and more rare platters from bands that owe their bread, butter and boogers to the legendary band that still stands as the prime movers of the American Garage / Punk movement. No cover, and be sure to loose your shit on this editions themed drink special, $5 rounds of  “Sonic Blue”…

Beep Beep YEAH! SCION (in conjunction with Vice Magazine) is doing it AGAIN with another great edition of the Scion Garage Fest at Knitting Factory Brooklyn – if you haven’t already you better RSVP HERE to get in and you’d best show up early. Nobunny, those rabbits on acid, are gonna play psychotic garage rock to riot to. Hopefully the crowd will be slightly more behaved and not heave a bag of feces at the man (as happened last time they were here at Cakeshop a few months ago, by all accounts). Opening up for them are  Miami based rock kids The Jacuzzi Boys. Fa Fa Fa!

For international mod beat and exotic pop flavor, may I recommend a potent double dose of Les Sans Culottes and Stereo Total? Catch them at the luscious Le Poisson Rouge in the West Village at 8pm and get ready to go all Continental on le dance floor. $12 Cover

Soul and Girl-Group enthusiasts need to get down to Rockwood Music Hall for The Sweet Devines! They’re putting on A Heckuva Summer Soul Party! on Stage 2 at 8pm in celebration of their new ’45 release Hecukuva Man, and are accompanied by an all star line up of special guests, including such luminaries as Binky Griptite (Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings), Maxine Brown, Eli “Paperboy” Reed and more! There’s a chance that $12 advance tickets can still be had here.

DJ Glamourpuss can be found over at the dark and lovely St. Jerome, providing a soundtrack of glam, punk and decadent rock music for watching debauched lower east siders. Sure to be fun, and certainly free, with cheap libations by Ashley Moree.

Rounding out Wednesdays travels, I needn’t remind you of the two eminent DJ nights that make it happen every damn week, that being Mr. Fine Wine’s fantastic soul and R&B ’45 night at Botanica’s and Jonathan Toubin and The New York Night Train at Motor City. If I have to, then where’ve you been baby?

Thursday August 25th

Glam Rockers, New Age Dandies, Fucked Up Fashionistas, Models on Gumdrops, Beautiful Street Urchins,  and all kind of decadents of the rock and roll variety assemble weekly for the bachhanal that is Kelle Calco’s party LADYLAND : A ROCK N ROLL DANCE PARTY at The Library at The Hudson Hotel. He, along with Miss Guy (The Toilet Boys) and Ian El Dorado DJ this hot mess. Come dressed for vanity as tonights party is going to be filmed for NYC-TV CHANNEL 25 and indie fashion blog Style Like You for some New York nightlife themed program that I look forward to watching in the back of a belligerent yellow cab.

The Grunge Revival is not a rumor: whether that’s good or bad depends on your particular inclinations, but it really doesn’t matter because it’s completely out of your hands, sugar: Dead Stars, who wear their Dinosaur Jr. influence on their torn sleeves and throw melodic “punch you in the gut” sound, are playing at The Charleston in Williamsburg this fine Thursday evening, along with the extremely 1992 sounding Violent Soho from Brisbane, Australia. Get some Hush Puppies from the punk rock southern food stall Honeychiles upstairs and then go down to the basement and wade in the bonecrush sound. While this is not exactly a scene that’s going to be an ongoing focus of this blog, I think…you ought to know (if I may quote another song of the era…) See what I did there?

AAAAAND scene. Keep your flippers on and the beer cans off the street. Charlie Po-Po is watching you.

-Captain Heartlock.